


4 Days

by awesomeskittlesclw83



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Language, M/M, Sarcasm, Self-Hatred, Snowed In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:21:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 22,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomeskittlesclw83/pseuds/awesomeskittlesclw83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bellamy suggests that a small group of 2 or 3 people go out hunting before the first snowfall comes, he never expected to be paired with Murphy but that's exactly what happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> They're at peace with the Grounders and Lincoln is living at Camp Jaha.

Bellamy had been hinting for weeks now that they needed to go hunting and get some actual before winter fully hit so when Abby finally agreed he was ecstatic. Until that is she assigned the hunting groups.

There were 4 groups and each would go in a different direction. Clarke, Octavia and Monroe would go west, Kane and Miller would go east, Byrne and 2 other guards would go north and Bellamy and Murphy would go south.

As soon as Abby announced his partner Bellamy started protesting. It wasn't that he disliked Murphy, he'd saved his life but it was still Murphy and he wasn't looking forward to being alone in the woods with him.

However Abby quickly explained that no one else could be spared and she felt most comfortable sending Murphy out with him as opposed to anyone else. All of this was after reminding him that this was his idea to begin with and they could easily forego the hunting and continue eating Ark rations.

So in the end Bellamy was stuck with Murphy and only one of them seemed happy about it.

"What the hell are you smiling about?"

"You mean besides the fact that I won't be stuck behind these electrified bars? Why are you so pissed? This was your idea, you should be happy."

"Just not happy I'm stuck with you."

"You think I'm thrilled to be with you either cuz I ain't. I'd rather be stuck with Clarke and she hates me but at least I get to kill something."

"As long as that something isn't people."

"Relax Bellamy, I'm not Finn."

As soon as the words left his mouth Murphy knew he was in trouble. Bellamy grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pulls him towards him.

"What the hell did you just say?"

"Too soon?" Murphy replied with a smirk that caused Bellamy to shove him away so hard he almost fell.

"Let's get one thing straight right now Murphy, we aren't friends. You saved my life and I'm grateful but while we're out there you will do exactly what I say when I say it or so help me, I'll leave your ass out there to die."

"Who the hell pissed in your Wheaties? Princess not giving you any since she killed..."

"Strike one Murphy. I suggest you stop talking now."

"What happens when I get to strike 3?"

"Shut up Murphy."

"Yes my king."

Bellamy rolls his eyes and contemplates the repercussions of shooting him while they're out there as he finishes packing his bag with furs the Grounders gave them for winter. Once everyone was packed and ready, they met Abby at the gate for their final instructions.

"You have 2 days to get as much food as you can carry. If by sunrise on the third day you have nothing, I don't care, you are to be back here before nightfall on that day. Am I clear?"

They all nod in understanding as the gate opens.

"Good luck and be careful."

"Also if it starts to snow, make your way back here immediately."

"Kane's right. We don't need anyone dying of hypothermia out there."

Murphy has this look of confusion on his face at the mention of hypothermia prompting Clarke to roll her eyes and say

"Hypothermia happens when..."

"When your body gets too cold and starts to shut down causing death if not treated quickly enough. I know what it is Clarke, I read."

Now it was Clarke's turn to look confused and although Bellamy was surprised Murphy knew that, the fact that he'd rendered her speechless caused a small smile to grace his face.

Which he hid quickly when Clarke spoke to him.

"Good luck and I don't just mean with the hunting." She said as she eyed Murphy.

"What? Jealous I'm not with you Princess?"

"Hardly." Clarke said with disgust as she joined Monroe to wait for Octavia.

"You gonna've okay, big brother?"

"I'll be fine O. I can handle Murphy."

"Be careful. And you?" Octavia turns to Murphy, finger pointed in his face. "You better make sure he returns cuz I swear Murphy if you don't I'll..."

"You'll what? Send your cannibal Grounder boyfriend after me for a tasty snack?"

Murphy smiles as Octavia lunges at him but is stopped by Bellamy.

"He's not worth it O. Save it for the hunt and as for you, that's strike 2."

"So do I get a prize or does that come with strike 3?"

"Shut up Murphy."

"As you wish, your majesty."

Bellamy rolls his eyes and shoves Murphy through the gate. Neither prepared for what the 2 day hunt would bring.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day one proves to be trying at best and Murphy isn't helping matters any.

They had been walking for what seemed like hours and still hadn't seen any signs of any kind of animals.

"They're probably all hibernating. It is technically winter and all the decent sized animals will be hooked up in their dens sleeping until spring."

Bellamy stops dead in his tracks and turns to stare at Murphy a bit dumbfounded.

"What? I told you, I read."

"Since when?"

"Since always. You think just because I was your little bitch for a few weeks you know everything there is to know about me. Well you don't."

"Obviously. I just assumed that since you spelled die wrong..."

"That was a good one wasn't it? If people think you're stupid, they underestimate you and don't ask you to do too much. The farther under the radar you fly the easier it is to stay alive and unnoticed."

"Well you certainly didn't do a very good job with that."

"I got a temper. It's sometimes counterproductive."

"That's an understatement."

Bellamy continues walking as Murphy follows along in silence until he catches movement out the corner of his eye and alerts Bellamy.

"Bellamy, there's movement to your right."

Bellamy turns in time to see bushes rustling and slowly approaches.

"You go left, I'll go right."

Bellamy says as Murphy nods and follows his lead on the left. Right before they reach to bush, the sound of a twig snapping is heard causing the animal to shoot out of the bush.

Both fire and both miss.

"Soon of a bitch! We had it and you had to step on a damn twig. Fuck Murphy!" Bellamy yells.

"Don't fuck Murphy me. I didn't fucking step on shit Mr. Stomps-a-Lot!" Murphy counters.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You and your big ass feet stomping around like you own the damn forest, I'm surprised we even saw that animal. You tromp around like the fucking giant from Jack and The Beanstalk. All's you need to do is say Fee Fi Fo Fum and you'd be a spitting fucking image."

"Did you just compare me to the villain in a damn fairy tale?"

"It's a fable. Only girls call em fairy tales and yes I did."

"Are you..Shut up and keep walking. I'd like to find shelter of some sort before nightfall."

"Sure thing. You're the king."

Murphy smiled when Bellamy started to say something but didn't and at the fact that he actually had stepped on the twig but had effectively managed to throw the blame on Bellamy instead of himself.

As they continued walking, Murphy noticed Bellamy would watch his feet every so often and at times he swore Bellamy was tiptoeing. It was mildly amusing and he wondered what else he could do to bruise that infallible ego of his.

There were no other signs of any animals the rest of the day and when the sun fell lower in the any, they abandoned looking for food and tried finding shelter.

Just before nightfall they found a cave and once they made sure it was empty, settled in for the night. Bellamy started a fire while Murphy unpacked the furs and threw him a ration pack.

"Bet that thing we saw would taste pretty good right about now." Bellamy said once he got the fire going.

"Compared to these rations anything would. I wonder if the others are having better luck?"

"Let's hope so cuz if their day was anything like ours, we're gonna be stuck with these rations for a while."

"You think the Grounders would help us with food like they did these furs?"

"Maybe. I don't know. Let's just get some sleep and hope we have better luck tomorrow."

Bellamy's woken up suddenly by a hard kick in the side and as he scrambles for his gun, he's elbowed in the face. He rolls outta the way and stands up but when he realizes it's just Murphy, he's not sure whether to wake him or punch him.

Suddenly Murphy let's out a scream, waking himself up and startling Bellamy. Murphy sits up drenched in sweat and looks over to see Bellamy's bleeding above his eye.

"Who the hell hit you?"

"That would be your elbow."

"Is that strike 3?"

Bellamy ignores his question and sits down beside him asking one of his own.

"Does that happen often? The nightmares, I mean."

"They're called night terrors. I wish they were just nightmares and no they don't. However it's enough to be annoying."

"What causes them? I mean is there some kind of trigger or something?"

"Hell if I know. They just happen and I wish they'd stop."

"How long you had em?"

"Why do you care? You trying to get to know me cuz that ship sailed the moment you kicked that crate."

"I've already apologized for that Murphy."

"And I told you I didn't want it. You said it yourself Bellamy, we're not friends so just drop it and go back to sleep."

"We used to be friends."

"Did we really? Cuz all's I was was a means to an end. A way for you to circumvent your reign. We were never friends cuz friends aren't expendable or worthless and I was both. Goodnight Bellamy."

Murphy lays back down with his back to Bellamy, ending all conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although I don't think Murphy is stupid, I love the idea of him being secretly smart.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day two turns out better than the first until Bellamy has to make a choice he's not entirely prepared for.

Just as Bellamy is about to fall asleep he hears what sounds sorta like whimpering and as he turns over to face Murphy he swears he sees a tear fall down his cheek before he turns the other way.

Day 2:

When they wake up in the morning, it's freezing and there's a dusting of snow covering the ground.

"Think we should head back?" Murphy asks.

"Kane said if it starts snowing and it doesn't look like it's snowing to me, so we continue hunting."

"Whatever you say your..." 

"So help me Murphy if you say king, majesty or anything else of that nature I'll punch you in your face." Bellamy interrupts.

"Sure thing rebel leader." Murphy says with a smile.

He doesn't have to see Bellamy's face to know he's pissed and he can't hide the satisfaction etched on his knowing he's the reason.

The farther they get into the forest, they begin to see tracks in the snow. Murphy watches with amusement as Bellamy studies them as if he knows exactly what he's doing.

After a few minutes he stands up, confidently stating that they should go right and Murphy jumps at the chance to once again deflate Bellamy's ego.

"Okay but just so we're clear, you wanna follow the animals being tracked by another animal? I'm sure that's gonna work out as well as the bush animal did yesterday."

"What do you mean? The deer went that way." Bellamy says more than a little confused.

"True but deer also went that way and those aren't being followed by whatever the hell made those." Murphy responds pointing to a second set of tracks behind the others.

Bellamy looks down in shock as he finally notices the larger prints following the deer.

"How did you know that? Who taught you to track?"

"Earth skills and I told you, I read."

"Bullshit! Who taught you?"

"I do read and it was Finn."

"When the hell did he do that? He barely even liked you."

"He treated me a hell of a lot better than any of you, regardless of what I'd done. Besides he didn't actually teach me, I watched him when we went after Jasper. I'm not anywhere near what he was but I learned enough to know when something is being followed."

"Well I guess we go that way." Says Bellamy pointing in the opposite direction.

They walk for what seems like hours until they come to a clearing of some sorts where two deer are standing. Neither hesitates in taking the shot and this time neither missed.

"So now that we got some food, we heading back to camp?"

"Yeah but we'll head back tomorrow cuz it'll be too close to nightfall by the time we get them back to the cave. Let's go."

Bellamy's deer was the closer of the two and as he steps out to retrieve it he notices the clearing isn't a clearing at all but a frozen lake of some kind. 

As Bellamy wondered why the deer would risk dying, Murphy walks out onto the ice to grab his kill.

"Murphy wait! It's not a clearing, it's a frozen lake. Maybe you shouldn't risk it. We'll be fine with this one."

"And let you take all the credit? Fuck that! I'm getting my kill. Anyways if the ice wasn't solid, why would the deer be walking on it?"

Still Murphy cautiously makes his way out to get his kill and carefully drags the deer over to where Bellamy is standing.

"We can skin and gut em back at the cave. It'll make em lighter to carry back to camp. I'm just not sure if the insides will attract whatever was following these other deer." 

"It shouldn't be a problem. I mean with the snow and the cold they won't smell it until they're practically over top it. But we need to go and get in front of a fire before we freeze."

"Sounds like a plan, let's go."

As they make their way to actual ground, Murphy hears what sounds like cracking and had just enough time to push Bellamy and his kill to safety before the ice collapses under his feet.

Bellamy wheels around fully prepared to punch Murphy in the face when he sees him thrashing in the frozen water. Murphy goes under a few times before he finally manages to get a good enough grip to pull him out.

He helps Murphy to his feet, supporting most of his weight as he drags the deer they didn't lose behind him."

"You think I'll get locked up for losing my gun?" Murphy coughs out.

"You're seriously worried about your gun right now?"

"C'mon Bellamy, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were worried about me."

"Not a chance Murphy. I'm just debating which to leave behind, you or the deer."

"Save the deer, obviously. It's more useful. I can't even drown right." Murphy says with a weak laugh.

Murphy's head starts to drop and Bellamy shakes him, trying to keep him awake.

"Hey Murphy? Murph? Wake up!"

"What? Just let me sleep. I'm tired Bellamy."

"No. Tell me about hypothermia. What do you do when someone has it? Come on Murphy, what do you do?"

"You have to get them warm before it sets in but the quickest and most effective way to do that is with body heat. It's best if both parties are naked so there's no barrier blocking it. It'd be a great way for you to finally get some from Clarke." Was Murphy's labored reply.

"You're dying and you're thinking about me and Clarke? Why? You should be thinking about someone you'd like to get some from instead."

Murphy takes a deep and shaky breath before answering Bellamy.

"It wouldn't matter, I'm trash anyways. I'm a murderer, a traitor and everyone would be better off if I was dead. Leave me here to die Bellamy, I can't go on."

Bellamy feels Murphy falling and as his body goes limp, he's forced to drop the deer in order to keep Murphy standing. He knows he needs to get Murphy warm and quick, so he opts to leave the deer behind.

Bellamy throws Murphy over his shoulder eliciting a groan and quickly makes his way back to the cave. When he gets there he's exhausted but immediately starts a fire.

Once the fire's burning good, he strips Murphy's wet clothes off and gets an up close look at the damage inflicted upon him by the Grounders. He lays a blanket down before putting Murphy on it and covers him with all their furs.

Bellamy tends to the fire once more, making sure it's good and hot before sighing and stripping himself. If he hadn't read about the whole body heat thing he would've sworn Murphy was fucking with him but he knew he wasn't.

Once Bellamy was naked and had mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do, he crawled under the furs with Murphy. He was so cold that when Bellamy touched him, he shivered.

Bellamy laid on his side and pulled Murphy into him so they where basically spooning. Despite how cold Murphy was, the exhaustion of the days events overtooks him and he's asleep within seconds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy does something he shouldn't have and Murphy speaks some truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't proofread this one, sorry.

Murphy was woken up a few hours later by the sound of Bellamy lightly snoring in his ear and when he moved Bellamy's grip instinctively tightened around him, pulling him closer.

Had this happened under any other circumstances Murphy would've been ecstatic but he knew the only reason Bellamy was naked beside him was to keep him alive.

He knew he could never tell Bellamy that he was the person he wanted some from and if the subject came up again, he'd say Monroe just to throw him off.

Murphy had had enough rejection in his life and it was easier to pine away without Bellamy knowing how he felt than to feel the pain when Bellamy laughed in his face. 

Murphy decided to savior this moment as long as he could cuz he knew it wasn't happening again and went back to sleep.

About an hour or so later Murphy was woken up by something he wasn't expecting and certainly not from Bellamy. Bellamy was gently stroking Murphy's penis. 

It was the strangest sensation, mainly because it was Bellamy doing it but he didn't want it to stop, so he let him continue a bit longer before elbowing him in the side.

"What the fuck Bellamy?!" Murphy yelled, hoping he sounded disgusted.

"What? Shit! I didn't...you had hypothermia and I had to warm you up." Bellamy said as he quickly moved his hand.

"And you decided stroking my dick was the best way to do that?"

"No! I...I wasn't...just get your damn clothes on."

Murphy cracked a small smile at his obvious frustration and said calmly

"I can't, they're still wet."

"Dammit! Fine, I'll be back. We need more wood for the fire." Bellamy said while putting his clothes on before heading outside.

Murphy was about to say there was already wood in the cave but decided it was best to leave him be. 

Although in truth Bellamy just needed some air. Laying naked next to Murphy had felt comfortable and right, something he hadn't felt in a while and wasn't sure how he felt about the realization.

He knew he could never tell Murphy the truth. Could never tell him that he'd been drawn to him since the first moment he saw him or the reason he'd slept with so many girls was to hide the fact that he wanted it to be him and he definitely couldn't tell him the reason he'd actually kicked that crate.

Bellamy was angry at himself for the way he felt about Murphy and maybe just maybe if he was gone, the temptation would be too. He wanted Murphy but Murphy wanted nothing to do with him and why would he after everything he'd done to him since landing in Earth.

Murphy was right about everything, he was a coward. He let out a sigh before grabbing a few twigs and heading back into the cave.

"The warrior king returns with twigs, how helpful. You know food would've been nice?"

"Yeah well we had food but someone had to fall in a frozen lake causing us to lose it."

"If it wasn't for me, we'd both been in that frozen lake and as for the food, I told you to leave me but the noble hero that is Bellamy Blake just couldn't leave the worthless traitor behind."

"You're not worthless Murphy."

"Right? I'm not stupid Bellamy, I see the way people look at me. I'm hated, I know it and I've excepted it, so let's just get some sleep."

"Murphy?"

"Goodnight Bellamy." Murphy says as he turns over and pretend to be sleeping.

Bellamy sits next to the fire, poking it with a stick for a while before getting up and adding more wood. When he sits back down, it's closer to Murphy.

Bellamy looks over at him and sees one of the exposed scars leftover from the Grounders on his shoulder. Before he even realizes what he's doing, he reaches over and lightly touches it, causing Murphy to recoil.

"Don't touch me!"

"Sorry I...I never...what did they do to you?"

"Nothing I wanna talk about and why do you care? I'm a traitor remember?"

"You're not a traitor. I was wrong which apparently is something I am a lot, especially when it comes to you."

"What'd ya mean?" Murphy asks, turning to face Bellamy.

"I hanged you, beat you, threatened to kill you, banished you and I'm sure there's more but still saved my life. You risked your life to save mine when you..."

"I couldn't let you die? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about dropping you off that cliff. I mean with everything that was happening, no one could blame me if I did but I knew somehow, they'd find a way so I saved you. I guess I was hoping that people would look at me differently and I wouldn't be so alone."

"You're not alone." 

Murphy let's out a snort as Bellamy continues talking.

"I'm serious Murphy, you're not. Is that the reason you saved me on that ice?"

"I was making sure we had something to take back to camp and since you were holding it, I had to shove you outta the way."

"You're a terrible liar, you know that?"

"Please. I've fooled you more than once."

"I want the truth. Why'd you save me on that ice, Murphy?"

"The truth is relative, twisted, flawed. It's based on your own beliefs and ideas not the actual truth of the way things are."

"Well then tell me your truth."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does to me. I wanna know."

"You sure I'm not dying cuz this is the most you've talked to me since before I..." Murphy's voice talks off as he touches the faint scar on his neck from the rope.

"Yes. I'm just realizing there's a lot about you I may have misjudged and I'm curious."

"Wow, you lay naked with someone for a few hours, play with their junk a bit and suddenly you wanna know everything about em. I bet girls eat that shit up, don't they?"

"I find it loosens their legs a bit and they spread easier. Although to be honest most are pretty loose already."

"I'm sure but I'm not a chick so stop treating me like one and get to the real reason you wanna know about me saving you."

"You come back, despite everything we've dove to you and even though you knew I'd kill you. I just don't get it."

"Where the hell else was I gonna go Bellamy? You were the lesser of two evils and I knew in my injured state Clarke would wanna help. I also knew Finn would stop you cuz it's Finn and helping the sick just ensured Clarke letting me stay."

"You were always gonna kill Connor, weren't you?"

"I was gonna kill everyone who had a hand in my hanging. Connor was the first cuz he was the main force behind it."

"But Clarke accusing you of murder is what lead to Connor calling for your death, so why not kill her?"

"C'mon Bellamy, I would've accused me too. I mean if I didn't know I didn't do it, I'd have done the same thing. Besides Clarke tried to stop it and even cut me down. Connor and Myles were just warm-ups, my main focus was you."

"That's my point, Murphy. I was always the one you wanted to suffer the most so why save me twice?"

Murphy is silent for a while before he answers Bellamy's question with a question of his own.

"Why'd you save me on that lake? You couldn't solved all your problems by just letting me down, so why didn't you?"

"You saved me so I was just returning the favor."

"Right? So stripping down and keeping me warm was also just you returning the favor?"

"Yes."

"Bullshit! That's too much effort and terrible for someone you don't even like. So when you cut the crap and get to the truth, I will too but until then just leave me alone."

Murphy turns once again with his back to Bellamy while Bellamy returns to poking the fire.

As he started at the flames, he thought about what Murphy had said. He wanted to tell him the truth but how do you tell someone the reason you tried to kill them wad because you were afraid of what would happen if people knew how you really felt.

He wasn't even sure Octavia knew but if she did, Bellamy was sure she wouldn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, sorry but I wanted to get the whole conversation between Murphy and Bellamy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy finds food as the first snowfall hits. Clarke and Octavia are worried about Bellamy alone with Murphy.

Day 3:

Murphy wakes up to an empty cave and no fire. He looks around and sees there's plenty of wood so he wonders where Bellamy is. He checks his clothes which are still a little damp but puts them on before restarting the fire.

Once the fire was going again, he walked to the opening of the cave to see if there were any signs of where Bellamy had gone. He sees his footprints leading towards the frozen lake and gets worried.

What if Bellamy had fallen in or was hurt? As more thoughts of what could possibly have happened to him run through his mind he decides to go find him.

However just as he's about to step out into the falling snow, a figure comes into view that appears to be dragging something. When the figure gets closer, Murphy sees its Bellamy and not only does he have his deer but something else as well.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I saw it snowing and figured we'd be stuck here for a few days at least so I went back for the deer and got something else along the way."

"You're an idiot you know that?"

"Maybe but this idiot got you food so you're welcome."

Murphy shook his head as he helped Bellamy skin the deer and what he guessed was a boar of some kind, both of which had already been gutted. As Murphy was skinning the boar he noticed Bellamy shivering but didn't say anything until he could barely hold the knife in his hand.

"Okay you're done. Give me the knife before you hurt yourself."

"It's fine Murphy, I got it."

"Bullshit! You're freezing so strip down, get under those furs and I'll take care of the food and fire. You'll be lucky if you don't get sick."

"Are you worried about me Murphy?"

"Not a chance but if I come back without you, my ass guess back to lock up and that shit ain't happening again. Now get your ass under those damn furs."

Bellamy concedes knowing that he was right and if he got sick there was a strong possibility he'd die if they couldn't make it back to camp in time.

At Camp Jaha Octavia and Clarke were starting to worry. Everyone but Bellamy and Murphy had come back yesterday and there was still no sign of them. The snowfall was starting to get heavier and both assumed the worst.

"Can't we send a search party out for them? What if Bellamy's hurt or worse?"

"Octavia's right mom, we have to do something."

"Clarke we can't. It's too dangerous. With the snow that's already on the ground and more continuing to fall there's no way of finding them."

"Besides we can't risk more lives for 2 people. I'm sure they're both fine." Kane interjects.

"We'll send a search party out as soon as the snow stops. I promise but right now it's too dangerous."

Clarke walks away pissed and Octavia follows closely behind.

"They might not be willing to help but we'll go to Lincoln and see what he says."

Clarke and Octavia find Lincoln in the smoke house they'd set up for the meat from the hunt, preparing and cutting it.

"I'm guessing by the looks on your faces they aren't back yet."

"No and my mom refuses to send anyone until it stops snowing."

"Then she's smart. It's too dangerous."

"Lincoln this is Bellamy we're talking about. I can't just leave him out there. We have to try."

"And we will, once the snow stops. Snow is too unpredictable. You could freeze or get sick and no one will be able to find you until it melts. Once it stops I'll go with the search party myself but until then stay within these walls."

Octavia nods in agreement but Clarke still isn't happy.

"Clarke wait. Stop! Please don't be stupid about this. If Lincoln says it's too dangerous, it's too dangerous. Besides you're no good to Bellamy dead."

"I know but I can't just sit here and do nothing while he's out there with Murphy. Who knows what's happened to him."

"Bellamy is more than capable of handling Murphy and there's no way he'd come back here without him. I'm sure they're fine."

"Yeah I guess."

"C'mon let's go find something to take our mind off Bell cuz worrying about him isn't helping."

Clarke nods and follows Octavia to the bar where Abby and Kane are having a conversation of their own.

"Do you think they're okay? I mean it's possible that they're hurt."

"It is but we're talking about John Murphy and Bellamy Blake, neither of which hold authority in high regard. I think it's safer to say they decided to stay out the full 3 days and got caught by the snow."

"I hope you're right Marcus because if John Murphy has done anything to him, it'll be my fault."

"If you blame yourself for every decision that went wrong you'll drive yourself crazy. Worry about it when we actually know what happened until then stand by your choice. Weakness and uncertainty breed dissension."

"I know. I'm just worried about them."

"They've survived on their own for a month, I'm sure they'll be fine for a few more days."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 continues with more bonding and truth as the snow continues falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is done fun in the snow.

Once Murphy has finished cutting up the meat to his satisfaction, he starts cooking some over the fire. He periodically glances over at Bellamy while his back is to him to make sure he's still breathing and is okay.

"You're staring."

"Am not."

Bellamy turns over to face Murphy and with a smile on his face says

"Are too."

Murphy rolls his eyes and says 

"Am not, now eat and shut up."

He takes the food from Murphy, taking a few bites before he speaks again.

"So how much trouble you think we'll be in when we get back?"

"Hopefully they'll just be happy you're alive and I didn't kill you."

"Why do you do that? Why do you say things like that?"

"Cuz it's true. You know damn well that's what's going through their minds. It doesn't matter how helpful or how well behaved I am, they're always gonna look at me like I'm nothing and a psycho killer who can snap at any second."

"But you're not, not anymore. Something's changed. You're not the same person who blew a hole in the drop ship."

"I am but I'm...I've learned a few things and adjusted. You're not the same either. You changed after Atom but you're different from that now too. I guess none of us are the same, are we?"

"You can't go through what we did and not be changed. Hell I think me and you changed each other more than the Grounders did."

"I doubt that. I was tortured for 3 days, remember? Torture tends to leave a permanent change and not just on the body."

"Murphy I..."

"Save it Bellamy. Eat and leave me alone. Hopefully this snow will stop and we can leave in the morning, that way we can pretend these little heart to hearts never happened and you can go back to hating me."

"I don't hate you Murphy."

"Whatever you say Bellamy. You know if you lie to yourself enough they say you'll eventually believe it. Don't drink too much of your own kool-aid, it clouds your judgement."

Murphy doesn't wait for a response from Bellamy and walks to the entrance of the cave where he stares at the falling snow. He stands there a while until the cold and the wind become too much to handle and heads back to the fire.

He adds more wood but as the temperature continues to drop it doesn't help much and he shivers a bit which Bellamy notices.

Why don't you get under the furs? They'll keep the chill down."

"I can't, you have them all." Murphy says without looking at him.

"So get under here with me."

"What?" Murphy says turning towards him unable to hide the obvious shock in his voice.

"I've already seen you naked, remember? Besides we'll be warmer together, so get under here."

Murphy looks at Bellamy unsure of what to do. He wanted to be next to him but he didn't want to seem to eager about it. 

"Jeez Murphy, I don't bite." Bellamy says amused by his hesitation.

"No you just like to feel on other people's shit."

"That was a mistake and it won't happen again. Seriously Murphy, just get your ass under these furs with me."

Murphy sighed and stripped down to his boxers before tentatively slipping under the furs with Bellamy. As they lay with their backs barely touching, Murphy hopes that Bellamy's so called mistake is repeated.

A few minutes later Bellamy speaks.

"You know I was a coward when I kicked that crate. I was afraid of what people would think but not for the reasons you'd assume. I hated...I was angry at myself because of you."

Bellamy feels Murphy turn over and does the same. As they lay facing each other, Murphy speaks.

"What do you mean because of me? I did nothing but what you told me. You're the one who..."

"Never mind. Just forget it. I shouldn't of said anything." 

Now it's Bellamy's turn to turn his back on Murphy and end the conversation. Murphy is about to say something but decides to leave it be and turns over so they're once again back to back.

At some point they must have fallen asleep because Murphy wakes up face to face with Bellamy and when he tries to move, is once again pulled closer. 

Murphy slowly and cautiously moves Bellamy's arm off him before sliding out of the furs and putting his clothes back on. He's almost dressed when Bellamy wakes up.

"Is it still snowing?"

"I don't know, I haven't looked yet."

Bellamy gets dressed while Murphy heads to the cave entrance to see how it looks. A second or two later Bellamy comes up behind him to survey the situation as well.

"Well shit. Looks like we're stuck here another day."

"Yep. I doubt we can find our way back to camp in this and dragging those animals won't help."

"Let's see what tomorrow brings. Hopefully we can head back then."

"If this snow doesn't stop we won't be able to go anywhere until it's gone."

"We can worry about that if and when it happens but until then let's eat and try to stay warm."

It finally stops snowing about mid day and Bellamy figures there's 2 or more feet on the ground.

"We're gonna need more wood if we're gonna stay warm." 

"I know. I'll take the axe, you take the machete and we'll get what we can. Hopefully we won't be here much longer."

"This cave's starting to make me long for those damn electrified fences."

"Me too."

Murphy hands Bellamy the axe and they head out into the snow. They stay close to the cave entrance not wanting to venture to far away and get lost or worse.

When Bellamy's satisfied with what he's got, he turns to see how Murphy is doing but finds a pile of wood at the base of a tree and no Murphy.

He walks over and sees the machete stuck in a tree and Murphy's footprints just end. Even though they were at peace with the Grounders the first thing that ran through his mind was that they took him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy finds Murphy and they get into some trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad people are enjoying this and thanks for the comments. Keep them coming, I love the feedback.

Bellamy is borderline panicking but he sees there's no blood staining the snow so he takes it as a sign he's still alive. Then he hears a faint noise coming from the tree and looks up just as a pile of snow comes crashing down on top of him followed by cackling laughter.

"What's the matter Bellamy, not the kinda white stuff you're used to being on your face?"

Bellamy jumps up and Murphy instantly knows he's pissed.

"You sorry little shit! That's strike 3."

"Chill out, man. Shit I was just messing around."

Bellamy starts climbing the tree with a look that is all to familiar and one Murphy's definitely not comfortable with.

"Bellamy, I was just having some fun, okay? Let's not do anything you're gonna regret." Murphy says trying to calm him down.

"Trust me Murphy, I'm certainly not gonna regret this."

When Murphy sees that Bellamy is close enough to reach him, he moves farther out onto the branch causing Bellamy to get on the same branch.

"Bellamy this branch isn't strong enough to hold us both and neither of us need to get hurt stranded out here."

"You should've thought about that before you sent all that damn snow down on top of me."

"Shit Bellamy, it was a joke. Can't you take a fucking joke?"

Murphy starts to panic a bit as Bellamy inches closer and he realizes he can't go any further so he just stops.

"If you're gonna kill me, make it quick." Murphy says as he closes his eyes waiting for the death blow that never came.

Instead he hears Bellamy laughing and slowly opens his eyes to see him almost in tears from laughing.

"You should've seen the look on your face, it was priceless. You actually thought I was gonna kill you."

"To be fair the last time you looked at me like that you were trying to kill me." Murphy replied with emphasis on the were.

Bellamy turns and heads back to the tree when he's hit from behind by a snowball. He spins around but before he can retaliate, the branch starts to snap.

"Shit!" Both say in unison as the branch gives way underneath them.

Murphy jumps up at the last second and grabs hold of the branch above him while Bellamy falls but manages to grab the branch below him.

"You okay?" Murphy asks looking down at him.

"Oh yeah, I'm fucking peachy! You know we wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't..."

"Yeah yeah. So what do we do now?"

"I don't know, I figured we'd just hang here until we freeze to death. What the hell do you think we do, try and get out this damn tree."

"Okay smartass, how we getting down?"

"Can you get to the tree at all? Or make it to the branch I'm on?"

"Maybe."

Murphy tries to move towards the tree but loses his grip on the branch and falls. He manages to land feet first on the branch below him but in doing so, he lands on Bellamy's fingers causing him to lose his grip and fall to the ground.

He hits the ground with a thud. Thankfully the snow was deep enough that it offered a sort of cushioning and softened the fall enough for him to be unharmed. Unfortunately his loss of grip caused the branch to bounce just enough for Murphy to lose his balance and fall as well.

Bellamy looks up to sees Murphy falling but doesn't have enough time to move before he lands right on top of him. They lay there on top of each other for a bit before Murphy speaks.

"At least we're outta the tree."

"You okay?" 

"I think so. You?"

"I'd be better if you'd get the hell off me!" Bellamy yells as he shoves Murphy off him.

They lay in the snow beside each other for a second trying to get their bearings.

"Sorry about the snow." Murphy says looking up at the sky.

"Sorry for causing the branch to break." Bellamy replies as he turns to face him.

"Sorry about your fingers and causing you to fall." Murphy says as he turns to face him as well.

"It's fine. The snow actually provided a pretty soft landing until you fell on top of me."

"Sorry about that too."

They stare into each other's eyes for a second before Bellamy breaks the contact and gets up.

"C'mon, let's get this wood back to the cave and warm up." He says reaching his hand out to help Murphy up which he gladly takes.

They grab the wood and their weapons before heading back into the cave.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the snow has stopped Clarke wants to leave to find Bellamy but not everyone agrees and Murphy clues Bellamy in on the obvious.

At Camp Jaha, as soon as the snow stopped Clarke was in medical asking Abby about the search party.

"Unless it starts snowing again, the search party leaves in the morning."

"No! Tomorrow is too late. We need to go now." 

"Clarke listen to me, we've already talked to Lincoln and it's too dangerous right..."

Clarke storms out before her mom finishes speaking to talk to Lincoln herself. She finds him with Octavia near the smoke house.

"Did you tell my mother it was too dangerous to go find Bellamy?" Clarke asked angrily.

"It is. Trying to trek through this much snow is dangerous especially when you can't see what you're stepping on. Not to mention we wouldn't get very far before it got dark, so we leave tomorrow."

"What if..."

"Clarke if Murphy has done anything to Bellamy you have my word that he won't live. I will find him and see to his death myself but I think you're worrying about nothing." Lincoln offers reassuringly.

"What do you mean? If you give Murphy a chance, he'll kill Bellamy."

"If that's the case than why hasn't he done it already? He's had plenty of chances."

"Lincoln's right Clarke. Murphy may be a psycho but he's not stupid and killing Bellamy would be stupid."

"Maybe. I don't know. I think I need a drink."

"I'll join you." Octavia says as her and Clarke head to the bar leaving Lincoln at the smoke house.

Back in the cave Bellamy and Murphy are cozy by the fire, eating.

"You think they've sent a search party out yet?" Murphy asks breaking the silence.

"I doubt it. Kane wouldn't want to risk people especially when it'll be dark soon."

"I'm sure Clarke isn't happy about that."

"Probably not but even she's not stupid enough to come out here on her own."

"You know she wouldn't be alone. Your sister would come with her. Besides it's you we're talking about, she'd do something stupid for you."

"What do you mean by that?" Bellamy asks confused.

"Are you seriously telling me that you have no clue about the way she looks at you?"

"Clarke was into Finn, not me." Bellamy says still clueless.

"She may have fucked spacewalker but she didn't love him. She's totally into you Bellamy. How can you not see it?"

"I guess l never really looked."

"Jesus Bellamy it's so obvious. Everyone sees it, why can't you?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm focused on someone else and I don't see Clarke that way."

"Who the hell else would you be focused on? If you don't see her that way, then maybe you should tell her cuz I doubt she knows."

"Don't worry about it. I guess I'll talk to her when we get back."

"If we get back."

"Why do you have to be so negative all the time.?"

"Because shit never has a happy ending for me. Negative is the reality and positive is the lie."

Bellamy looks at him unsure if what to say and decides it's better not to respond at all. They sit by the fire, finishing their food in silence for about 10 minutes before Bellamy adds more wood to the fire.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More bonding and hallmark moments between Murphy and Bellamy.

As Bellamy places the wood on the fire, Murphy notices that the palms of his hands are bleeding and guesses it's from the tree.

"You should clean that blood off in the snow and wrap them so it doesn't get infected."

"I'll be fine."

"Sure you will. Just remember when your palms get all swollen and puss starts coming out of them who told you to clean em to prevent it."

"Shut up, Murphy!"

"Sure thing rebel..."

"Don't say it." Bellamy says before Murphy even finishes speaking.

"Say what? Rebel leader, warrior king, or your majesty? I bet that's the one isn't it? It's your majesty." Murphy replied with a smile.

"Fuck you Murphy!" Bellamy shouts as he gets up and walks to the cave entrance.

When Bellamy returns, Murphy notices that his hands are wet with some snow on them and smiles. As he sits by the fire Murphy throws a piece of cloth at him and says

"Now wrap em up."

"Yes mother."

"I told you before, I'm not a chick so call me daddy."

Once the words left his mouth Murphy closed his eyes, mentally kicking himself and praying Bellamy didn't notice. He did but he chose to ignore it and both fell silent, not sure what to say.

When the little bit of sunlight that was shining begins to fade and give way to night, Bellamy breaks the silence.

"You wanna try trekking through the snow in the morning or wait another day?"

"I'm curious as to if they'd send a search party or not."

"So you wanna wait for them to find us?"

"Not really. I say if a search party doesn't show up tomorrow, we head back. Hopefully by then some of the snow will have melted and we won't have such a hard time with the animals."

"Works for me. Just outta curiosity, how long were you in that tree waiting for me?"

"Not long. The trick was getting up there without you knowing what I was doing."

"You laid in wait for me."

"I waited for the right moment and dropped the snow. I will say it was kinda funny watching you panic a bit at the tracks just stopping under the tree."

"It wasn't to me. The last time that happened, Mbege's body fell out of a tree with his throat slashed. That's what I went back to when you were gone and your tracks just ended. I'm sorry about Mbege by the way. I know no one ever said it but..."

"It's fine. I didn't really know him."

"I thought y'all were friends."

"We were, I guess. I mean he was the closest thing I've had to a real friend. He stood by me and tried to help me when they wanted to hang me but the first time I met him was when we landed."

"I'm still sorry."

"Don't be. He's dead which means he can't betray or hurt me, unlike some people."

Bellamy didn't miss the fact that the last part was directed towards him.

"Murphy I..."

"Don't Bellamy. We both know how you really feel. You've proven it enough times and no amount of fireside bonding is gonna change it. We were never meant to be friends." 

Murphy grabs some furs and a blanket before heading to the other side of the fire to set up his bed for the night. When he gets under the furs, Bellamy does the same but instead of sleeping he watches the flames and thinks.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy finally tells Bellamy why he saved him on the ice.

About 30 minutes later Bellamy sees Murphy move and decides to see if he's awake.

"Hey Murphy? You asleep?"

When he doesn't respond Bellamy waits a few minutes before asking again.

"Murphy? You awake?"

"No Bellamy, now leave me alone." Murphy says obviously annoyed.

"If you're asleep then how are you answering me?"

"You're not gonna leave me alone are you?"

"Probably not."

Murphy sighs and says "Fine. What'd ya want?"

"Has anyone ever actually called you daddy?"

"You've gotta be kidding me. Are you fucking serious right now? I'm trying to sleep and you ask me shit like that. What the hell Bellamy?"

"I was just thinking..."

"And you couldn't find anything better to think about besides whether or not I've been to pound town?"

"Well have you?" Bellamy asks unfazed.

Yes, now can we drop this?"

"Who?" Bellamy inquires, ignoring Murphy's question.

"Oh my...shit, Bellamy! Why do you care?"

"Just curious. So who was it?"

"If I tell you, will you drop it?"

Bellamy nods in agreement with a smile on his face.

"Roma, in the sky box."

"Really? Roma? She never mentioned it."

"She wouldn't. It happened a couple times outta necessity rather than choice but she never complained so I guess some part of her enjoyed it."

Murphy rolled over hoping the conversation would end but Bellamy kept talking.

"Necessity sometimes causes us to make choices we normally wouldn't consider and can lead to mistakes that haunt us."

Realizing Bellamy wasn't gonna let him sleep Murphy gets up and sits by the fire. Not to mention he was curious as to what exactly he was talking about and asks him.

"What are you talking about Blake? You trying to say Roma considered me a mistake that haunted her, cuz if you are then..."

"No. I was talking about me. I was talking about not standing by you and kicking that crate. I was wrong. I should..."

"You can't beat a dead horse and this one's been dead a while. Besides you...would you have let Raven turn me over to the Grounders if it saved Finn?"

"No." Bellamy answered matter-of-factly.

"Bullshit! You're a horrible liar."

"I'm not lying. You saved my life on that cliff and I know you tried to stop Finn but he'd crossed a line that he was never coming back from. Truthfully I should've stopped him sooner or gone with you two but I..."

Murphy already knowing where Bellamy was going tries to change his course.

"You made a choice and because of that you found Clarke. Don't blame yourself for what you can't control. Finn was gone long before he killed those 18 people."

"Maybe but if I had made different choices than..."

Murphy seeing that Bellamy wasn't gonna let this topic rest, changed the subject.

"You wanna know why I saved you on that lake? It was because you didn't look at me like Finn was my fault and when Raven suggested turning me over, you were the first to say no. You may have let me down when they hanged me but you stood by me when the almost identical situation came around again. That's why I saved you. Now are we done? I'd really like to get some sleep. All this truth is draining."

Bellamy nods as Murphy heads back over to his furs.

"You know you don't have to be so far away. I don't bite, remember?"

"No, you just cuddle and play with people's shit."

"I only did that once but I do cuddle. Girls love it."

"Yeah well guys don't."

Murphy walks over, picks up his bed and moves it beside Bellamy, who smiles as he turns over to get some sleep himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy finally tells Murphy the truth.

Somehow during the night they wind up spooning again but neither noticed until their foreheads touch and Murphy awakens to Bellamy lightly rubbing his nose against his.

The situation is a bit too intimate for Murphy to handle and as his breathing gets heavier, he tires to pull away but Bellamy pulls him closer. When he does their lips brush against each other causing Murphy to push Bellamy away, waking him up.

"What the fuck Bellamy!" Murphy shouts.

"What the hell are you talking about? I was asleep, you pushed me!"

"You were rubbing your nose against mine and then you...we...I can't do this anymore. I can't be this close to you all the time. It's frustrating!"

"You think you're the only one who's frustrated? Well you're not. It's not easy being this close to you either. There's a reason I always keep you at a distance. It's easier than facing the truth."

"What the hell are you talking about? What truth?" Murphy asks confused.

"You wanna know why I kicked that crate? I was afraid, afraid of what people would say if they knew that the reason I had all those girls was to try and get my mind off you. I was angry at myself because I wanted you. I want you and I hate it cuz you don't..."

Murphy closes the space between them and kisses him. Bellamy hesitates but only for a second as he pulls him closer and runs his fingers through his hair. 

When they finally break apart Murphy speaks.

"I didn't know. I never said anything cuz I just assumed with the way you treated me that..."

"It was the way I wanted it. I'd convinced myself I hated you but when you saved me I realized that I hated myself. I'm sorry Murphy. I truly am. For everything I've ever done to you cuz you didn't deserve it."

"You're a little late with all this, you know that? I don't know if I can...I need time. This is just too much, all at once and I can't..."

"I know. Let's get some sleep and we can figure things out later."

Murphy nods and gets back under the furs as Bellamy does the same. They face each other for a while before Murphy turns over leaving Bellamy looking at the back of his head.

Bellamy is almost asleep when Murphy speaks.

"Hey Bellamy?"

"What?" He questions as Murphy turns to face him.

"Does Octavia know?"

"I don't know."

"Are you gonna tell her?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry I made things so hard for you. Maybe if I wasn't such a screw up, things could've been different."

"Maybe but what's done is done, so let's not dwell on it. We've both left marks on each other. Some you can see, some you can't but each one has changed us. We're different than we were before and maybe it's better that way."

"We can always make new marks and this time they can be the kind we wanna leave on each other."

"We could but that would require you to be closer." Bellamy said with a smile as Murphy moves closer.

When he's close enough, Bellamy pulls Murphy to him and kisses him. He then kisses down Murphy's neck to his collarbone where he bites, sucks and licks leaving an unmistakable mark causing a small moan to escape Murphy's lips.

By the time Bellamy is finished, he's left a trail of bite marks and bruises from Murphy's collarbone, down across his stomach and back up the other side before their lips meet again. When they pull apart Murphy leaves his own trail of bite marks and bruises down one side of Bellamy's body and up the other.

They fall asleep entangled with each other in a way that doesn't look comfortable but neither seem to mind.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Murphy argue and Abby sends the search party.

Day 4:

When they wake up, they start packing everything up in preparation for the possibility of a search party arriving.

"So what happens when we get back? Do you go back to hating me and we never speak of this again?"

"I don't know. I don't want too but people won't...I don't know."

At Camp Jaha, Abby had ordered the search party to move out early that morning. It consisted of Kane, Clarke, Octavia and Lincoln. Lincoln lead the way to ensure the others had a safe path to follow. As they get closer to the vicinity of the cave Lincoln stops them.

"Stay here. There's a cave up ahead that could have animals in it. I'll check it out and if they're in there I'll let you know but until then stay put. I mean it Clarke, stay here."

They nod in agreement as Lincoln makes his way to the cave. Inside the cave Bellamy and Murphy are still arguing about what to do when they get back.

"Why are we still arguing about this?" Bellamy asks, tired because they've been arguing for at least an hour or more.

"Because you're still a fucking coward!"

"It's not that easy Murphy! I can't just tell people I'm with you."

"Because it's me right? If it was Finn or Jasper it wouldn't matter would it? But since its me, you want to sneak around behind people's back and keep me hidden like some dirty little secret you're ashamed of!"

"That's not it, not really. I just don't know how to tell people or what they'll think."

"Who cares what they'll think? It's easy. All you do is say I like Murphy. I like him so much that when we were stranded in a cave together we..."

"Shut up Murphy!" Bellamy yells tired of hearing his voice.

"As you wish my king, your majesty, rebel leader, sir stomps-a-lot, warrior..."

Bellamy grabs him by the collar with both hands, pulling him so they're nose to nose and kisses him.

"I said shut up. I need time Murph. Time to talk to O and Clarke. I can't just jump into this like you. So please just give me that and I promise you, you won't be hidden like I'm ashamed of you."

"I believe in action, not promises Bellamy. Promises are just words and words can be broken."

"Then I'll show you." 

Bellamy kisses him again, not knowing that Lincoln was watching until he clears his throat.

"Ahem."

Bellamy pushes Murphy away and as Murphy smiles like it's no big deal, Bellamy looks terrified.

"Please don't tell Octavia." He pleads.

"I won't but you two should compose yourselves because both her and Clarke are waiting outside."

"Go. I'll grab your bag. They'll want to know I didn't kill you."

Bellamy gives Murphy this look like he's disappointed he'd said that but Murphy turns away not wanting to look at him anymore. He leaves with a small smile and nod as Lincoln stays behind to help Murphy with their kills.

Lincoln never says a word and Murphy's glad cuz the last thing he wanted was advice from an ex flesh eating Grounder.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy has a reunion with Clarke and Octavia while Murphy and Lincoln have a hallmark moment of their own.

When Octavia and Clarke see Bellamy come into view, they run to him and hug him.

"I knew you'd be fine but don't ever do that to me again, okay?" Octavia says as she lightly hits his arm.

"Okay." 

Clarke notices the bandages on his hands and grabs them asking

"What happened? Don't tell me you and Murphy got into another fight."

"Not exactly. I scrapped em falling out of a tree. It's a long story, I'll tell you later."

As if finally noticing Murphy's absence Clarke says

"Speaking of Murphy..."

"Sorry to disappoint you Princess but I'm still alive."

"A girl can hope, right?" Clarke shoots back.

"Well hope leads to disappointment sweetheart and you'll have to deal with my face a while longer." Murphy replies glaring at her.

Kane sensing a possible fight breaking out speaks hoping to defuse the tension.

"I see you two got some food. It's bigger than anything we were able to get."

"They're skinned and cut nicely as well so whoever did it knew what they were doing." Lincoln adds.

"That's all Murphy." Bellamy says with a smile that Clarke and Octavia thankfully didn't notice but everyone else did.

"Impressive, son." Kane says and both Bellamy and Lincoln notice the look that comes across Murphy's face but before he can say anything Lincoln moves them along.

"We should head back before it gets colder. Follow my tracks back to camp, I'll stay back here and help Murphy."

Kane leads the way followed by Octavia, Clarke and Bellamy while Lincoln and Murphy stay far enough behind that they can't be heard but close enough as to not make the others stop and wait.

Bellamy periodically glances back at Murphy who never looks at him. In fact Lincoln's positive he's doing everything in his power to look everywhere but at Bellamy.

When Lincoln notices Bellamy's glancing becoming more frequent he elbows Murphy causing him to look up and make eye contact with Bellamy. He mouths sorry and Murphy gives him a small smile to satisfy him enough that he'll stop looking back at him.

Seeing the look on Murphy's face Lincoln decides to take a risk and talk to him.

"You don't believe him, do you?"

Murphy's silent for a while as he tries to figure out whether or not to answer him.

"Sorry's just a word people say that they don't mean. It's like I love you, it's said to pacify the other person, nothing more nothing less."

"You don't think he'll tell them, do you?"

"Would you? I know he's not and there's no reason he should. It would be the killer blow to an otherwise invincible armour. He's not ready for the looks, whispers or questions that come with the truth. He's not made to be on the outside. He couldn't handle it."

"Octavia can. In fact I think she thrives on it."

"Yeah but Octavia has the benefit of people actually liking her and she has Bellamy. No one's gonna cross her cuz of the fear of what he'll do to them but me, I'm hated by everyone and I have no one. Besides Bellamy and Octavia may be related but when it comes to taking certain risks, they're very different."

"Bellamy doesn't hate you and he may yet surprise you, just give him time."

"Right? Mark my words when we get back to camp it'll be like these past 3 days never happened. What happened in that cave will stay in that cave and no one else will ever know."

Lincoln didn't say anymore and neither did Murphy the rest of the way back to camp. However Clarke and Octavia were full of questions for Bellamy about his time with Murphy.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Punishment for not coming back on time is served. Bellamy and Kane have a moment of understanding and Octavia and Clarke wonder what's up with Bellamy.

Bellamy was beginning to tire of Clarke and Octavia's questions about being stranded with Murphy but Octavia seemed to be the only one who noticed cuz Clarke kept questioning him.

"Did Murphy seriously skin and cut those animals?"

"Yes, Clarke. Why is that so hard for you to believe?" Bellamy snaps.

"Cuz it's Murphy, Bellamy. He's nothing but a killer. Not to mention a manipulating psycho."

"Wow. I never thought I'd see the day Clarke Griffin became heartless. You don't even know him, none of us do."

"I know enough to know I don't wanna know anymore. He's not worth it. He's screwed up every chance we've given him and when he screws this one up innocent people will die cuz they always do."

"Connor and Myles were hardly innocent and no matter how hard to try to spin it Finn wasn't either."

Bellamy picks up the pace to walk beside Kane, not wanting to see the hurt on Clarke's face at what he just said. He knew it was harsh and wrong but she just wwouldn't shut up, so he made her.

Clarke turns to Octavia with a shocked look on her face and tears ready to fall.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"Maybe they bonded in that cave. I mean they were stuck together for 3 days and their only options were to kill each other or get along."

"Maybe but that was still strange and mean, right?"

"Just a bit but I'll figure out what's going on. Don't worry about it." Octavia reassured Clarke with a smile.

Bellamy and Kane walked in silence for a few before Kane spoke.

"He saved your life, right? He was willing to die so you'd live, wasn't he?"

"What makes you think that?" Bellamy responds not really wanting to have this or any conversation with Kane at the moment.

"Nothing changes a person's view of someone quicker than the knowledge that they'd die for you. My guess is you learned things about him over the course of these last 3 days that you never would've imagined."

"He's not exactly who I thought he was. I mean I know he's a killer but we all are. It's just, I don't know how to explain it."

"You know there's a pre-Ark saying that states people don't ever really change, they just become who they were always meant to be. Maybe you're seeing who Murphy truly is for the first time."

The rest of the way back to Camp Jaha was a silent one for all parties involved. Once they step through the gate, Bellamy and Murphy are taken before the council for their punishment.

They were sentenced to 24 hours in lock up and told not to do it again. Murphy didn't even get in trouble for losing his gun because he almost died which he guessed was a plus. When their 24 hours were up, Bellamy was allowed to do whatever but Murphy was told to report to the smoke house and help Lincoln.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and Octavia have a little chat about Murphy and there's a time jump.

Murphy walks into the smoke house and watches as Lincoln cuts up some of the boar Bellamy had killed.

"Why am I here?"

"Because I asked for you to be."

"Why?" 

"You're the only sky person who knows what they're doing when it comes to cutting meat and Bellamy mentioned you helped Octavia in one before."

"Did he now? Why not have Octavia help? I'm sure you'd prefer her company to mine."

"I'd prefer a Reapers company to yours but you know what you're doing and Octavia would only be a distraction."

"As long as I know where I stand. So what do you want me to do?"

"Finish what you started with the deer." Lincoln says handing him a knife.

************

It's been about a month since the cave and Bellamy had been doing his best to avoid Murphy. Every time the opportunity came to go out hunting, he was right there waiting and ready to go.

Yet every time he came back, that night he'd sneak into Murphy's tent but would always leave before anyone was awake to see him. There were little things here and there that if someone was paying close enough attention would tell how they felt about each other. 

Like Bellamy quickly gripping Murphy's hand as he passed or holding each other's gaze just a second too long and on the rare occasion when Bellamy went to the smoke house, it was always when only Murphy was there and he'd stay just a bit longer than necessary.

It was these little things that kept Murphy sated whenever he'd get frustrated with Bellamy and it was also what caught Octavia's attention. She'd been curious ever since the conversation on the way back from the cave and had been watching them closely because of it.

When she saw Bellamy all but grab Murphy's ass as he inched past him, she knew it was time for the truth and she pulled him into her tent so they could talk.

"So what's the deal big bro?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Bell. Something happened between you and Murphy in that cave and I wanna know what it was."

"It's complicated, O. I can't just tell you."

"Of course you can, I'm your sister, remember? You can tell me anything so spill and remember if you don't tell me, I'll just ask Murphy."

"If I tell you you have to swear you won't tell a soul. I mean it, O, no one."

"Jeez Bell. I swear. Now what happened?"

"We...Murphy and I...I...shit! Why is this so hard?"

He pauses and puts his face in his hands before running his fingers through his hair, visibly distraught. Octavia puts he hand on his shoulder and says

"Just relax and take your time. Whenever you're ready."

He lets out a sigh and tells her everything. Once he got started, he couldn't stop until everything was out and he was actually relieved. It was like a weight had been lifted off his chest and it felt good.

"Holy shit! I knew it, I fucking knew it. All those looks and the touching, not to mention you defending him at every turn, it all makes perfect sense now."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Bell you're my brother and no matter what I'll always stand by you even if it's next to Murphy. Does Clarke know?"

"No one but you and Lincoln."

"Wait, Lincoln knows? How does Lincoln know?"

"He sorta saw us kissing when he found us in the cave."

"Okay now I'm mad. Lincoln knew before I did and he didn't tell me. We're definitely gonna talk about that and you need to tell Clarke."

"I will eventually. I just can't right now."

"You need to do it sooner rather than later cuz if she finds out on her own, she's gonna be pissed and hurt. Oh and I think Murphy's in the smoke house."

Octavia smiled as she leaves the tent and Bellamy makes his way to the smoke house. He stands at the entrance watching Murphy work for a while before saying anything.

"Where's Lincoln?"

"Getting more wood." Murphy says without turning around.

"I told O about us."

"Good for you. Are we gonna skip outta here hand and hand now?"

"Dammit Murphy! I'm trying here, what more do you want?" Bellamy yells angrily.

"Nothing Bellamy. Just leave me alone, I have work to do."

"Murphy?" Bellamy questions as he turns Murphy to face him.

"What? What the hell do you want Bellamy?" Murphy shouts as he stabs the knife in his hand into the meat before facing him again.

"I need..."

"Time, I know but how much is enough? You keep me hidden and expect me to be okay with it but I'm not. It's been a month and Clarke still doesn't know. Hell you just told Octavia and I'm betting it's because she cornered you. If you don't tell Clarke soon, I'll show everyone exactly what happens when you sneak into my tent at night."

Murphy leaves as Bellamy stands there for a second unsure if he should be worried about his threat or not. In the end he decides to leave Murphy alone and let him cool off before talking to him again.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy lashes out and Clarke becomes more suspicious about what Bellamy is hiding from her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't really proofread this so if there are any errors, I'm sorry. Oh and thanks for all the comments and love, glad you're enjoying my story.

Later that night Bellamy finds Murphy at the bar drinking and decides to join him but as soon as he sits down Murphy leaves. Bellamy sits there for a second before going after him. Murphy grabs two bottles of moonshine as he tries to find a place to drink alone and in peace.

He had just enough time to finish the first bottle and start on the second when Bellamy finds him at the back of camp leaning against the fence.

"You're lucky that's not on."

"Maybe I'm hoping someone will accidentally turn it on." Murphy replied with an obvious slur.

"How much have you had to drink? Bellamy asks when he sees the empty bottle at his feet.

"Not nearly enough." Murphy says with a smile as he tips the bottle up in his hand.

"Oh I think you've had quite enough." Bellamy responds as he takes the bottle from him, spilling some in the process and causing Murphy to take the cup in his other hand and hit him in the face with it.

"Fuck you, Bellamy!" Murphy yells as he walks past Bellamy and bumps his shoulder, hard.

"Murphy?" Bellamy says grabbing Murphy's arm to stop him but it only manages to piss him off even more.

"Don't touch me!" Murphy snaps as he spins around and his fist connects with Bellamy's jaw causing him to stumble backwards as he continues speaking.

"Don't ever fucking touch me again! I hate you! I hate you so much that when I look at you all I wanna do is bash your damn head with a bottle. Just stay the fuck away from me."

As he rounds the corner into the openness of the camp he runs into Clarke and knows she's looking for Bellamy.

"The king needs your attention, Princess." 

While he continues to his tent Clarke heads in the direction he came from to find Bellamy. When she rounds the corner she sees him leaning up against the fence with a busted lip and blood running down his cheek from his forehead.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Did Murphy do this?"

"It doesn't matter, Clarke."

"Yes, it does. He's out of control Bellamy. He needs to be..."

"He was drunk Clarke. That's all. He was drunk and I pissed him off so he hit me." Bellamy snapped.

"He looked pretty damn sober to me." Clarke shoots back.

"Yeah well he wasn't, so just drop it."

Clarke reaches up to touch his forehead but he blocks her hand and won't let her.

"I said I'm fine, Clarke." He tells her as he leaves her standing there alone and even more confused than she was before.

When she's finally composed herself enough to walk back into the open part of camp, she finds Octavia and Lincoln and joins them, hoping she'd know what Bellamy's deal was.

"So have you figured out what your brother's problem is yet?"

"He refuses to tell me. I've been trying since we got back but he won't talk to me." Octavia says hoping Clarke couldn't tell she was lying.

"Well something's up and it worries me. He just let Murphy hit him, didn't retaliate and then defended him as to why he did it. I think Murphy's gotten to him somehow."

"That's an understatement." Lincoln said under his breath, prompting Octavia to elbow him in the ribs.

"What was that?" Clarke asks.

"I'm gonna go. I think you two need to talk."

Lincoln leaves and judging from the look on Octavia's face as he does so, he knows he's sleeping alone.

"Why do I feel like there's something that the two of you aren't telling?"

"Clarke whatever is going on with Bellamy, he'll tell you if he wants you to know otherwise just let it go. He's stubborn and can be a major dick sometimes but he has his reasons for things. Just don't push him and let him come to you, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

Clarke watches as Octavia leaves for her tent and soon after she heads to hers as well but she doesn't sleep. Instead she thinks about what Octavia had said and congress to the wrong conclusion.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something happens on a hunting trip and Octavia and Murphy have a moment.

The next morning Murphy is sluggish as he makes his way to the smoke house, nursing both a hangover and a hurt hand. He vaguely remembers punching Bellamy in the face and even though a smile starts to form because of it, he wonders how badly he hurt him.

When he finally walks into the smoke house, he sees Lincoln is packing a bag.

"Going somewhere?" He questioned.

"Hunting trip with Bellamy and Kane."

"Sounds fun."

"I'd prefer to stay here but Octavia asked me to keep an eye on Bellamy, so I'm going."

"It's funny how someone like you unquestioningly bows down to her at every turn. You're her bitch, dude."

"At least she's not ashamed to be seen with me." Lincoln said as he grabs his bag and leaves.

Murphy grabs a knife, wanting nothing more than to throw it right at the back of his head and after lifting his arm 2 or 3 times to do just that, he settles for stabbing the knife repeatedly into a slab of meat instead.

When he hears Bellamy's voice ring out asking for the gate to be opened, he turns and as they briefly look at each other, Bellamy gives him a small nod before leaving. Looking at him Murphy can't help but feel bad at the bandage above his eye and his swollen lip cuz he knew they were his fault.

As the sun gets lower in the sky, Murphy wonders why they aren't back yet and when he sees Clarke trying to comfort a pacing Octavia, he knows something's wrong. He tries to get back to work but finds he can't concentrate because all he can think about is Bellamy. What if something happened to him and he was hurt or worse.

The last thing he'd said to him was he hated him and to leave him alone. What if he never gets to say he's sorry? The more the thoughts race through his mind, the more angry at himself he becomes and he doesn't notice that he's holding the blade of the knife until Octavia yells.

"Murphy? What are you doing? You're bleeding."

He drops the knife and stares at his bloody hand, still not registering the pain. Octavia tears a piece of Murphy's shirt, cleans his hand with his water cup and then bandages it. The whole time, he never looks at her and instead looks straight ahead as if oblivious to get presence. 

It isn't until she speaks that he actually looks at her.

"You know hurting yourself isn't gonna change things or bring him back any faster. I'm sure Bellamy's fine and they'll be back any second now."

"Who are you fooling? I know you don't really believe that."

"Bellamy'll be okay Murphy, he always is. This looks deep, you might wanna have Abby take a look at it."

Murphy nods but when she turns to leave he stops her.

"Why? Why do you even bother or care that I'm hurt?"

"Because Bellamy does and he's my brother, so as long as he cares about you I do too."

Octavia leaves and heads back towards Clarke who's waiting impatiently by the gate for thier return. Murphy looks at his hand and decides to go see Abby when he hears shouting from outside the gate.

When he steps out of the smoke house he sees Lincoln running through the gate, holding someone and seeing Kane talking to Abby, his heart drops to his stomach cuz he knows it's Bellamy.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy worries about Bellamy and how he's gonna see him but Octavia has a plan.

Murphy collapses to his knees as he hears Abby's voice distantly barking orders and sees Lincoln carrying Bellamy into the medical tent with Octavia close behind.

He can't think or even move, he just feels sick. It's a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time, not since he saw his father floated and he hated it then, too. He didn't know how long he stayed that way or how long Lincoln had been trying to get his attention but when he's slapped across the face, he snaps out of it quickly and is pissed until he sees Lincoln standing over him covered in blood, Bellamy's blood.

"Is he gonna die?" Is all he asks in a voice so weak and low, he's not even sure it's his.

"Abby's not sure. She says his chances are good if he makes it through the night but if he doesn't wake up, he probably won't..."

"What the fuck happened? How the hell could you let...you were supposed to protect him! You..." Murphy yells in Lincoln's face.

Lincoln shoves Murphy pissed and yells 

"Listen, I already got the third degree from Octavia, I don't need it from you too! I screwed up! I know that and Bellamy paid the price but for now he's still alive which means you still have time to see him."

Murphy looks at him like he's stupid.

"And how the fuck am I supposed to do that? Clarke is never gonna let me anywhere near him and she's never gonna leave his side."

"Octavia has a plan so you'll get to see him but first you need to have Abby look at that hand."

"Whatever." Murphy says with a sigh as he makes his way to medical.

Once he sets foot inside, he gets that sick feeling again cuz it looked like a scene from one of those horror movies he saw on the Ark once. There was blood and bloody clothes everywhere but the worst was when he saw Bellamy's pale, bandaged and almost lifeless body laying on a bed.

All he wanted to do at that point was leave and he tried sneaking out, hoping no one had seen him but unfortunately Clarke had.

"What the hell do you want?" She snapped.

"Nothing. It's not important. I can come back."

Before Clarke can say another word Abby notices the bandage on his hand.

"What happened to your hand, John?" She asked.

Murphy cringed a bit at hearing his first name and said "It's Murphy and I got distracted when I was cutting meat earlier and cut my hand."

"Come on over here and have a seat."

"You look busy. I can come back. It's not a big deal, really." He said as he tried to back his way out of the tent.

"Sit! I've done all I can for him. The rest is up to him." Abby replied in a stern motherly voice that he knew there was no use arguing with and sits.

She carefully unwrapped his hand and examines it for a few seconds before getting up and grabbing some things from the back. The whole time she's gone Murphy can feel Clarke staring at him. 

"You gotta problem or am I so irresistible that you can't look away?"

"You wish. You're about as irresistible as the plague."

"Do you even listen to what you actually say cuz that makes zero sense, sweetheart." 

Clarke starts to get up and Murphy just smiles, satisfied in the fact that he pissed her off enough for her act instead of talk but before anything happens Octavia speaks.

"Clarke could you go check on Lincoln for me, please? I was kinda hard on him and I don't want him thinking this was all his fault."

Clarke nods but is hesitant to leave Bellamy's side.

"If anything happens, I'll make sure you know, okay? Just please check on Lincoln. I can't lose him."

Clarke finally leaves just as Abby returns and starts working on Murphy's hand.

"What happened to him?" He asks no one in particular but hoped someone would answer.

"A bear attacked him from behind. Apparently they woke it up hunting. He's lucky Lincoln and Kane were there cuz I doubt he would've made it without them." Abby responds.

"But he's okay now, right? I mean he'll pull through, won't he?"

He hoped she didn't hear the concern and fear in his voice as he spoke.

"I hope so but honestly I don't know. He's stable but he's lost a lot of blood. I'll know more tomorrow but for now we just wait and hope."

As soon as she finished his hand which took 3 stitches, she left to talk to Kane. Murphy stayed seated, not sure if he should get close to Bellamy or just leave.

"Are you just gonna sit there staring or get your ass over here and see him cuz Lincoln can only occupy Clarke for so long." Octavia questions.

He slowly makes his way over to Bellamy's bedside. He hates seeing him this way. He's so fragile looking, he's afraid to touch him. It doesn't look like Bellamy. It almost looks like a dream or a nightmare that he wishes he could wake up from but it's not, it's reality and reality is always worse than the nightmares.

With a shaky hand he lightly touches Bellamy's cheek and moves a strand of hair from his forehead before placing his hand on top of Bellamy's. He stares at him a while, not sure what to say or do.

"I told him I hated him. That was the last thing I said to him. What if I never get to tell him I didn't mean it?"

Murphy looks down when he feels Octavia grab his hand. It's a strange feeling but welcome at the same time.

"Oh God Octavia, what if he doesn't wake up and I never get to tell him that I..."

"Murphy don't. Bellamy's gonna pull through and when he does you can tell him everything, okay? You should go before Clarke comes back. I'll make sure you get to spend more time with him tonight."

As he turns to leave he says "I know you aren't doing this for me but thank you."

"You're right but you're welcome." Octavia says with a small smile as he leaves the tent just as Clarke is returning.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kane and Murphy have a little chat and Murphy gets help from someone he wasn't expecting.

Murphy goes back to the smoke house but can't seem to focus enough to do anything right and in order to stop him from screwing up anymore meat Lincoln tells him he's done for the day.

He heads to the bar for a few drinks and is soon joined by Kane. He was really not in the mood to look at Kane, let alone listen to anything he had to say so he gets up to leave but Kane stops him.

"Sit down, son. I think you and I need to have a little chat."

"First off I'm not your damn son and second we have nothing to talk about so I'm not sitting."

"Oh I think you are cuz I wanna talk about you and Bellamy."

"What about us?" Murphy asks curious but still refusing to sit.

"I'm just wondering why before he fell unconscious, your name was the last thing he said."

"How the hell should I know? The guy hates me and probably blames me for it somehow." Murphy tries to leave but Kane wouldn't shut up.

"I don't think so. I think there's another reason and that it also happens to be the same reason he defends you so adamantly now."

"Really? Well if you got it all figured out then what the hell do you want from me?"

"An answer as to why the two of you distance yourselves so far away from each other."

Murphy sits his drink down, puts both hands on the table, looks Kane right in the eyes and says "You've figured everything else out, so figure that out too cuz I'm done with this little chat."

He grabs his drink and leaves. He makes his way to the last place Bellamy was okay, the back of camp and leans against the fence. A light snow begins to fall and as he lets it soak into his clothes and hair, he goes from leaning to sitting against the fence.

As the snowfall becomes heavier he thinks back to the conversation with Kane. He couldn't help but wonder why Bellamy would say his name and not Octavia's, unless Kane was lying about it just to get information from him.

The more he thought about it the more convinced he became that Kane was lying and then came the anger at the fact that he knowingly played with his emotions like that. The more his anger built, the less he was bothered by the snow piling up around him and just when he was about to explode, he notices feet beside him.

He slowly lifts his snow covered head to see someone he didn't expect staring down at him. As he struggles to get the soaked hair out of his face with hands that are too cold to cooperate, they kneel down and gently move his hair.

"C'mon, you need to get out of this snow and those clothes before you freeze to death."

He looks at her curious as to why she even cares but finds he's too cold to ask and starts to stand up. His body is stiff, whether from the cold or how long he was sitting he wasn't sure but he has to use the fence for support as he gets up. When he's finally standing, she speaks again.

"Let's go. I'll take you back to my tent cuz I'm sure it's warmer than yours."

Murphy reluctantly follows her but as people begin to ogle and whisper, he feels uncomfortable.

"Monroe, I'm not so sure about this."

"Would you quit worrying and come on. We're almost there."

She opens the flap of her tent and walks inside but Murphy awkwardly stands outside, not wanting to follow her in. Suddenly Monroe is pulling him into her tent and sitting him down on her bed which is softer than his. Not to mention her tent is cleaner and more organized compared to his as well as warm.

"Well, what are you waiting for, get out of those clothes."

"I'm not just gonna strip down to nothing in front of you."

She smiles and laughs a bit as she says "Relax Murphy, I'm not gonna watch. Now get out of those wet clothes while I grab you some dry ones."

She turns to leave when Murphy asks her the one thing that had been bugging him since she found him.

"Why are you doing all this?"

"We'll talk when you got dry clothes on, okay?" She says with a smile as she walks out the tent and Murphy begins to undress.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy gets to the real reason Monroe is being so nice to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a small Little Mermaid reference in this chapter. Sorry I couldn't help it. I also really like the idea of Monroe and Murphy in any capacity so I had to put it in here.

Monroe returns about 15 minutes later but doesn't come inside. Instead she puts her hands though the open tent flap and says

"Here's some clothes. They should fit you, just let me know when you're dressed."

"Thanks." Murphy mumbles as he takes them from her.

Five minutes later, he gives her the all clear and she enters the tent, securing the flap as she does. She grabs a brush, sits beside him and hands it to him.

"Here. Fix that mop you call hair."

He takes the brush but looks at her puzzled. He can't figure out why she's doing any of this.

"So you got the hots for me or something?"

She laughs as she looks at him trying to decide if he's serious.

"Hots? Really, Murphy? I mean don't get me wrong, you're cute but I know I'm not your type."

"And what makes you so sure? I could go for you."

"I'm not tall, dark haired, brown eyes and answers to the name Bellamy."

"I have no idea what you're talking about and neither do you." Murphy snaps angrily and gets up to leave.

Monroe stands and places a hand on his shoulder stopping him.

"Murphy wait. I'm not gonna tell anyone and personally I think its about damn time the two of you finally realized what I've known for a while now."

"What do you mean?" Murphy asks as he turns to face her.

"I've seen the way the two of you looked at each other, even before your hanging and it wasn't hard to figure out. It's the little things that tell you everything and it's those same things that get overlooked the most. I also know you're afraid he won't make it."

"Is that why you're doing this? You feeling sorry for my poor unfortunate soul? You wanna try and save me, Monroe?"

"No. I just wanna try being your friend. Sterling was all I had and with him gone, I feel a little lost. I figured the t two of us could be lost together and somewhere along the way maybe find our way back."

"I don't do well with friends and what makes you think I'm lost. Besides I've never actually had a friend so..."

"I'll make you a deal, I'll be there for you, support you and help you if you need it as long as you do the same for me, okay?"

"Why me? I'm sure Clarke or Octavia would be better company than me."

"We have nothing in common. They don't know what it's like to be on the outside, to be invisible."

"And you think I do?"

"Until Bellamy found me and Sterling after the Grounder barbecue, no one even knew who I was. Clarke and Octavia don't know what that's like. Look I'm not asking you to be a shoulder to cry on or someone to hold my hand at night when I can't sleep..."

"Good cuz I sure as hell ain't gonna do that." 

"All I'm saying is we be there for each other."

"So like if you get in trouble, I help you out of it and..."

"And the next time you get in trouble, I'll help you out. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. It's that simple."

"Nothing else?"

"Nothing else. We got a deal?"

Murphy thinks about it for a while before he decides.

"Deal. So you think I'm cute?"

"Seriously?"

"What? It's just a question and you brought it up."

"Actually you did but yes when you aren't being a dick and pissing on people, you're cute."

"Oh come on, you have to admit that was funny."

"Maybe a little bit but still a dick move."

Murphy smiles as they continue talking for a few more minutes before he puts his shoes on to leave.

"You can leave your clothes here and I'll bring em to you when they're dry, if you'd like."

"Thanks, Monroe. For all of this."

"That's what friends do." She replied with a smile as he leaves her tent.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia puts another plan into action so Murphy can see Bellamy and Murphy and Monroe spend some more time together.

Murphy decides to head to the bar for a drink, hoping the snowfall hadn't caused them to close up but is distracted by Lincoln motioning him over. He walks up to him but before he can ask what's up, Lincoln speaks.

"Octavia's gonna try and get rid of Clarke for a few hours so you can sit with Bellamy for a while. Once she leaves you'll go inside while I stand watch and will let you know when she's returning so she won't see you."

They waited for about 20 minutes before Clarke finally came out of the tent followed closely by Abby. Lincoln pushes Murphy towards the tent and waited outside as he cautiously made his way inside.

He watches the shallow rise and fall of Bellamy's chest for a second before he says anything.

"Any change?"

"No but Abby says that's a good thing cuz he's not getting worse."

"But he's not getting any better either."

"Well, quit stalling and get over here before Clarke comes back."

He pulls up a chair on the opposite side of the bed and once again places his hand on top of Bellamy's. He never says a word cuz he doesn't know what to say and instead just holds his hand. An hour and a half later Lincoln gives the signal that Murphy has 5 minutes to leave.

He stands up but instead of leaving he leans down close to Bellamy's ear and whispers

"Please don't leave me. Come back to me. I need you to come back to me. Please Bellamy."

He then lightly kisses his forehead and sneaks out the back just as Clarke was coming through the front. He walks in the direction of his tent but never makes it and instead winds up at Monroe's. He's not entirely sure why and he stands there for a bit debating what to do.

"Monroe? Monroe? You asleep?" He whispers hoping she's not asleep but again he's not sure why he does.

He waits a few minutes for her to answer and when none comes, he turns to leave but a noise behind him causes him to turn back around.

"Murphy? What are you doing here?" She questioned sleepily.

"I honestly don't know. I just came from seeing Bellamy and instead of going to my tent I somehow wound up here."

"Well come inside so you won't get sick."

He walks inside and sits at the edge of the bed while she closes the tent and sits beside him. They sit in silence a while as he fiddles with black strips of cloth he was trying to wrap around his hands and wrists. 

She watches him struggle for a few minutes before grabbing them and says

"Here, let me help you."

"I got it." He protests.

"Just give em here and shut up."

He yields and let's her wrap his hands. She works in silence, not bothered by the quiet surrounding them or their closeness to each other but Murphy is uncomfortable and starts talking.

"So what did you do to land yourself in the sky box, anyways? I mean you don't seem like the others."

"I guess you could say I got caught."

"Doing what?" He asked when she didn't elaborate.

"A friend of mine needed some help so I stole what she needed and got caught." 

"Where's this friend now?"

"Gone."

He waited for get to continue, realizing it was probably a sore subject and he didn't wanna piss her off to the point where she kicked him out. After a second or two of silence she continued.

"She was still on the Ark when they sent us here but she's not here now. I guess she died in one of the crashes. Truthfully, I don't know what really happened to her."

"I'm sorry."

"It happens. We've all lost someone. What about you? What did you do to get locked up?"

"It was either that or starve and I wasn't about to just die. I made a choice for my own survival and now I'm here."

"Survival has a way of changing people."

"Survival didn't make me a killer, life did. What did it make you?" He asked knowing she wasn't talking about him.

"Run like a coward when everyone else was fighting and dying." 

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to live Monroe. Besides you're here now and fought to find Clarke and the others."

"Because I was ashamed that I ran and wanted to make up for it somehow. I guess I felt like I owed them."

He grabs her face with both hands forcing her to look at him, suddenly hit by the thought that maybe the two of them weren't as different as he'd once thought and says

"The only person you owe anything to is yourself. As long as you can live with the things you've done, it doesn't matter if no one else can."

She looks him in the eyes and asks

"Can you? Can you live with the things you've done?"

He slowly drops his hands, not sure how to respond cuz he'd never actually thought about it.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy's condition takes a turn.

Monroe kept staring at Murphy and he realized she was waiting for an answer.

"I know I fucked up but I'm not sorry I killed them. I'm not exactly the forgive and forget type but I'm learning that revenge isn't always the best way to deal with things, so yeah, I can live with it."

"You're kinda complicated aren't you?"

"Not really. With me it's simple, you cross me I'll never stop until you're dead or I am but as long as you don't do me wrong, we're fine."

"But it's different with Bellamy, right?"

"Bellamy and me are complicated. I think maybe after everything we finally understand each other."

They spend the rest of the night talking and as the first rays of sunshine hit the tent, Murphy figures it's time to go. He hopes no one is up to see him leave cuz he didn't want Monroe put through the whispers that were sure to follow if he was seen.

He opens the flap, steps out and the first person he sees is Clarke. He immediately thinks fuck but it's instantly followed by why isn't she with Bellamy and then he worries that something has happened to him. However, the lack of redness in her eyes and the scowl on her face let's him know that Bellamy is still more or less fine.

As she continues to scowl at him, Murphy flashes her a smirk as if to say what and walks to the mess to eat. He finds a table at the back so he can eat in peace but is surprisingly joined by Lincoln and before he can ask why, he tells him.

"Bellamy is awake. He's still weak and in and out of consciousness but he's asked for you."

Murphy couldn't hide the relief and joy in his face at what he'd just been told. Bellamy was okay. He was seriously okay and not just stable. Once the excitement began to fade, the shock at the fact that he was asking for him sit in.

"He's really asking for me?"

"Yes, so finish eating and I'll take you to him."

"Are you kidding? I can't eat, not now, so let's go."

"Well I'm starving so I'm gonna eat and we'll leave when I'm done."

Murphy anxiously waited for Lincoln to finish and when he could no longer deal with his fidgeting and impatience, Lincoln stood up and said

"Let's go since its obvious you're never gonna let me eat in peace."

He smiled and follows Lincoln to medical where Bellamy is sleeping with Octavia still at his bedside. When she sees him, she gets up and motions for him to take her place. He sits but doesn't want to wake him so he remains quiet and stares at him.

Octavia shakes her head and whispers in his ear  
"Do or say something. Remember, he wants you here."

He wanted so badly to say something but couldn't find the words. It was a strange feeling for him to be wanted and he didn't know how to respond. I mean if this had happened before the events of the cave he would've thought Bellamy was gonna yell at him or something and since words escaped him, he acted. He gently moves a strand of hair from Bellamy's forehead before trailing his fingers down the side of his face. 

When he reaches Bellamy's chin and begins to take his hand away, it's grabbed by Bellamy who faintly says

"You don't have to stop."

Bellamy intertwines his fingers with Murphy's and as they rest across his chest, Bellamy opens his eyes and smiles at him. Without thinking or hesitation, Murphy runs his other hand up the back of Bellamy's neck, into his hair and kisses him. When Bellamy let's out a small pained groan, Murphy instantly pulls away.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wasn't...I didn't...I'm sorry."

Bellamy smiles and says "It's fine. Really but do be gentle, I almost died, remember?"

"That's not funny. Seriously Bellamy, why the hell would you joke about that? I almost lost...you were...and I had..."

A tear starts to fall down Murphy's cheek, that he couldn't stop and Bellamy wipes it away.

"I'm sorry Murphy, but it's okay. I'm okay. Are we okay?"

"Of course we are but I still hate you."

"Good cuz I still hate you too."

Bellamy grabs Murphy's jacket, pulling him close and kisses him. He then whispers in Murphy's ear.

"I like when you say please. It's adorable."

He kisses Murphy's cheek and as the confusion spreads across his face he smiles saying

"I heard you say please Bellamy last night. It was faint and almost dreamlike but I knew it was your voice."

"Well I suggest you savior it cuz it's the last time you're ever gonna hear me say it."

"You think?" Bellamy challenges.

"Oh I know it is." Murphy challenges back.

"We'll see."

"Yes we will. I should go before Clarke gets back and pisses me off to the point of revealing something."

"You better come back."

"I will as long as Clarke's not here."

They kiss again and Murphy leaves with the biggest grin on his face but it quickly fades when he sees what's happening outside.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Murphy and Monroe cuteness.

Murphy hears shouting and can clearly make out Clarke's voice but isn't sure about the other. There's a small crowd that has formed around the pair so he has to push his way through to actually see anything. 

He breaks through the crowd in enough time to see Monroe punch Clarke square in the nose and as she falls to her knees clutching her bloody nose Monroe yells

"We didn't fuck, we talked but even if we had, it's none of your damn business so just back the hell off. "

Murphy can't help but smile nor can he help saying something as he walks past Clarke to check on Monroe. 

"Doesn't look like everyone's buying what you're selling anymore, Princess. "

Murphy opens the flap to Monroe's tent without even thinking and is met by a right hook. 

"Shit woman! What the hell?!"

"I'm sorry. Sorry. I guess I'm still a little pissed."

"No kidding. Wanna let me in on what the hell that was back there? Nice punches by the way. "

"Bitch needs to learn she doesn't know everything. "

"No argument there, but you wanna be more specific? "

"She told me I needed to find better company, you were dangerous, she didn't wanna see me get hurt, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm sure there was more but I stopped listening. "

"Sounds like typical Clarke speak to me, so why break her nose? "

"I was walking away and she essentially accused you of raping me and I flipped. "

"She said that?" Murphy questioned unsure Clarke would actually say something like that. 

"Not in those exact words, no but the intent behind the ones she used were to that effect. It just pissed me off that she'd assume we had sex and that somehow you had cornered me into it. "

"I knew this would happen. I knew if someone saw me leaving your tent this morning that would be their first thought. I'm sorry. I didn't..."

"Chill, it's nothing I can't handle. I'm not worried about it. Besides I knew the challenges that came with being your friend."

"So why risk it? "

"Cuz nothing worth doing is ever easy. "

"You think I'm worth it? Awwww Monroe, I think I might cry. "

"Shut up, dick." She says with a smile as she playfully pushes him. 

While Monroe and Murphy were talking, Clarke had gotten up and headed to medical, still not sure what the hell had just happened. She was so confused and couldn't understand why all of a sudden people were defending Murphy. Nothing was making sense. 

When Octavia hears her walk into the tent, she turns and seeing the blood, immediately becomes concerned.

"What the hell happened? "

"Monroe. "

"What? That makes no sense. Why would she do that? "

"I don't know. I saw Murphy coming out of her tent this morning and when I asked her about it, she hit me. "

About that time Abby walks in followed closely by Kane, obviously discussing the events of the fight and stop dead when they see Clarke's nose. Abby of course goes into full on doctor and Mother mode and while she comforts and examines Clarke, Kane goes straight to the questions. 

After Clarke explains her version of what happened, Kane pulls Abby aside for a mini conference. 

"What do you think? "

"I think there are two sides to every story and we've only heard one of them. "

"Okay, I'll go talk to Monroe and I'll let you know what she says. Then we'll figure out what to do. "


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby talks to Monroe and figures out Bellamy's secret while Bellamy becomes jealous and finally decides to tell Clarke the truth.

Abby walks right into Monroe's tent much like Murphy had earlier but to a warmer welcome, sort of. 

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened between you and Clarke?"

"Are you asking as her mother or the chancellor?" Murphy questioned. 

"Chancellor. Tell me what happened."

Monroe is about to tell her when Murphy opens his mouth instead. 

"To be fair, chancellor your daughter started it but since she's your daughter nothing will happen to her and just because she's still playing the victim card from Finn doesn't give her the right to be a bitch or act like she's better than we are. She's just as much a killer as the rest of us."

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Abby asks obviously irritated. 

"Probably." He responds with a shrug and a smile, relishing the fact that he was able to get under both Griffin women's skin. 

"Then I suggest you go." Abby snaps. 

"You gonna arrest me, chancellor?"

"I might."

"On what grounds? Other than you don't like what I have to to say."

"John Murphy would you please leave so I can find out what actually happened?"

"Since you asked nicely, I'll go but I won't be happy about it."

Abby rolled her eyes and Monroe held back a laugh as he left the tent and headed towards his so called job. Once Abby had all the facts and discussed it with Kane, they decided that since both were at fault and it was a simple miscommunication of sorts, neither would be punished. 

Around two weeks later Bellamy is finally able to move around with minimal pain much to the relief and delight of everyone cuz he had been driving them crazy trying to get up and go. Abby still insisted that he sleep in medical but was free to walk around during the day provided he didn't do anything to threaten his stitches.

Needless to say he still kept both Clarke and OctavIa busy and Murphy couldn't help but smile cuz Clarke looked like she was ready to snap at any moment. 

The next few days passed with little to no incident. Bellamy still hadn't told Clarke about Murphy which pissed him off to no end and caused him to spend more and more time with Monroe since she wasn't afraid to be seen around him. 

If Bellamy hadn't been secure in the fact that Murphy was all his, Monroe would've worried him but he knew they were just friends even if their closeness irked him some. However, when he saw Murphy coming out of Monroe's tent the following morning laughing and smiling with his hair pulled back into braids, hug and kiss her, he lost it. Granted it was just a kiss on the forehead but it wasn't where he kissed her so much as the obvious affection behind it that really got to him.

Octavia finds Bellamy a few hours later at the back of camp near the fence bleeding from a couple of busted stitches and the whole way back to medical she was yelling and cussing about how unbelievably stupid he was. 

Abby and Clarke are inside talking but when they see Bellamy they stop and Abby gets right to work whereas Clarke lays into him just like Octavia had. With both of them talking at the same time, he couldn't handle it anymore and yelled

"Enough! Would both of you just shut the hell up already?"

"You could've done serious damage. .."

"Stuff it Clarke! I know, okay. I don't need a reminder every time something happens. Now would you both leave me the hell alone?"

Once Clarke got over the shock of Bellamy snapping at them both, she was about to say something but Octavia stopped her and they left him in peace. 

"What did he do?" Abby asks as she wraps his wounds. 

"What?"

"Murphy, what did he do that pissed you off?"

"What makes you think it was him?"

"Because he's the only person I know of who can drive another person to violence."

"He does have that affect, doesn't he?"

"And the fact that you have feelings for him doesn't help either."

Bellamy looks at her with a mixture of fear and concern and when she sees his face she says

"Relax, your secret is safe with me and I won't tell Clarke but she needs to know, Bellamy. You need to be the one to tell her."

"I know. I know. I just don't know how to tell her."

"Well you should probably figure it out soon before she finds out on her own."

"I know." After a long pause he sighs and says "Can you tell her I need to talk to her about something?"

Abby leaves to get Clarke and a couple of minutes later Clarke walks in. She sits down on the bed beside him and when he doesn't say anything she asks

"What's up?"

"We need to talk about something, something personal. There's a secret I've been keeping from you and I think it's time I told you what it was."

She could tell he was nervous and placed a hand on his leg for reassurance. 

"You know you can tell me Bellamy. Whatever it is, you can tell me." She said even though she was certain she already knew the secret. 

"There's someone here, at this camp that I have feelings for. I've actually had feelings for them since the first moment I saw them but kept it hidden because I was afraid of what people would think. You see there was a complication with them and I..."

"Bellamy, it's okay. Really, it is. You don't have to be afraid."

As silence fills the room, Clarke becomes anxious and just wanted him to get to the point. She wanted him to tell her that he loved her like she loved him and like she knew he would if he could ever get the words out. 

Suddenly he turns to face her, takes her hand hoping the contact would soften the blow, takes a deep breath and says

"Clarke I...I think I'm in love with..."

She didn't wait for him to finish, she couldn't and kissed him. Unfortunately Murphy walked into medical at that exact moment, saw them kissing and stormed out, beyond pissed. When Bellamy doesn't reciprocate, she pulls away completely embarrassed. He stares at her in utter shock before he speaks.

"Clarke, I don't...I don't think of you that way. I'm sorry."

She doesn't say a word as she gets up and practically runs out of the tent. Octavia sees her running past with tears streaming down her face and follows her to see what's going on.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy makes a rash decision and Monroe worries about him.

Murphy storms past everyone, including Monroe and walks right out the camp gate, into the woods. He knew it was a bad idea but he didn't care. Bellamy had kissed Clarke and he felt like he was being hung again. 

When all Octavia was able to get outta Clarke was Bellamy and kiss, she sends Lincoln to find out what had happened. Once he returned with all the facts, she was better able to comfort Clarke which mainly consisted of her telling Clarke how idiotic her brother was. 

Murphy continues to make his way through the woods trying to find somewhere, anywhere he could just be alone which since the treaty with the Grounders had become much harder to do considering people didn't have to stay within the confines of camp any longer. 

He passes Grounders and Sky people alike as he walks, thankful that no one stops him to chat. When he finally does stop, satisfied that he's put enough distance between himself and everyone else, he takes stock in his surroundings and sighs at the sight of the gaping hole in the side of the drop ship. 

Of course he'd end up here, it was where it all began after all. It all lead back to the drop ship and why wouldn't it. It was where every betrayal, every near death experience had happened at the hands of someone who was still just a fucking coward and couldn't stop hating himself long enough to admit he had feelings for him. 

Yet with all the atrocities he'd suffered at the hands of Bellamy Blake, the worst wasn't the hanging but a kiss, a simple kiss. That's what had ripped his heart out of his chest causing him to feel like he was back on the Ark hearing his mother's last words, only it's not her voice but Bellamy's and instead of an empty bottle in his hands, it's Murphy's still beating heart. 

The feelings overwhelmed him and as the shaking and ragged breathing starts, he becomes angry. Angry that one person could make him feel emotions he'd tried so hard to conceal and began hitting the metal walls of the drop ship. As the pain in his hands increases to the point of numbness and the anger subsides, he sides down the wall to the floor where he eventually falls asleep. 

He hadn't intended to stay there all night but he was so exhausted physically and emotionally that he couldn't even muster the energy to slide back up the wall to a standing position, let alone trek back to camp, so he stayed where he was. 

Bellamy didn't sleep much that night and neither did Monroe. Bellamy was worried about Clarke and why Murphy hadn't come to tell him goodnight like he'd done every night since he'd woken up. While Monroe just worried about Murphy who she knew hadn't come back through the gate yet. 

In the morning Monroe went straight to Murphy's tent hoping he was there but he wasn't, so she checked medical and the smoke house with still no sign of him. That's when she really began to worry and wanted to tell Bellamy but she knew he'd want to go looking for him so she told Lincoln instead. He agreed to search for him while he was out hunting with Kane but he returned just before nightfall with no luck in finding him. 

Monroe decided that if Murphy wasn't back by morning she was telling Bellamy and if she had to go searching for him by herself she would. When Murphy once again missed stopping by to tell him goodnight, Bellamy panicked a bit cuz he hadn't seen any sign of him all day and he'd noticed that Monroe was a little frazzled. He asked Octavia to check Murphy's tent and when she came back saying it was empty, he knew something had happened but wasn't sure what which given it was Murphy, worried him even more. 

Back at the drop ship:

When the faint glow of sunlight could be seen reflected on the tarp covering the door, he gets up but makes no attempts to head back to camp Jaha. He wasn't ready to face Bellamy just yet and he doubted he even knew he'd been gone all night but why would he when he had Clarke by his side 24/7. As the day drags on, Murphy decides to stay one more night just in case Bellamy had noticed his absence, he wanted him to squirm a bit before he returned. 

Wanted him to suffer like he had when he'd seen him carried into camp bleeding and unconscious. However the events of the following morning made him wish he hadn't stayed.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monroe tells Bellamy Murphy is missing and Murphy runs into a problem at the drop ship.

When the sun rose the next day, Monroe made her rounds as before and when there was still no trace of Murphy, she went to Bellamy. Once he sees her, he bombards her with questions about where Murphy is and if he was mad at him. 

"Murphy stormed out the gate 2 days ago and no one's seen him since. Lincoln looked for him when he was out hunting yesterday up came up empty. I'm worried Bellamy. He was pissed, like gonna murder someone pissed when he left."

"Why the hell didn't you stop him? Shit, Monroe! How could you just let him go like that and why didn't I know this sooner?" Bellamy snaps both irritated and concerned. 

"Do you honestly think I could've stopped him? He stormed past me barely acknowledging my presence. I just thought he needed some time to cool off but... fuck, Bellamy what if he..."

Hearing the fear in her tone, he knew what she was thinking cuz he'd thought it too but they couldn't think like that. 

"Don't. Just don't think like that okay? This is Murphy, he's survived worse. We'll find him and he'll be fine. You'll see. He has to be."

Even as he said the words, he wasn't sure he believed them. Yes Murphy had survived worse but he wasn't certain he'd come back okay if something else happened to him.

"Me and Lincoln will find him but you should stay here in case he comes back. Not to mention if anything happens to you, he'd be devastated and I have a feeling it'd be worse than Finn."

"He told you about us, didn't he?"

"He didn't have to, I already knew and to answer your next question, no. He's completely and totally all about you and no one else so you have absolutely nothing to worry about."

"Okay but I'm going. I'm not staying here while he's out there all alone and there's nothing..."

"Don't make me get Octavia in here to kick some sense into your ass cuz I have no..."

"Octavia's already here and you're not going anywhere. Lincoln told me everything. Monroe and him are perfectly capable of finding Murphy cuz your ass is staying put." Octavia said entering the tent with Lincoln close behind.

"But O?" He began to protest but she put her foot down. 

"I don't wanna hear it, Bell. You're injured and I'm not having you get hurt worse cuz you wanna be a stubborn ass. Am I clear?"

Knowing this wasn't an argument he was going to win, he agreed but was pissed about being kid's tabled. He should be out there looking for Murphy with them not stuck in this damn camp twiddling his thumbs, waiting. The more he thought about it, the more he wondered what could've caused him to leave in the first place.

He tried to remember what Monroe had said about the last time she saw Murphy and suddenly it hit him. He knew the reason he'd left cuz it was the only logical reason given the direction Monroe had seen him come from. Murphy had seen Clarke kiss him which meant that he thought that him and Clarke...He hoped Murphy was okay so he could explain to him that what he saw was a misunderstanding and nothing more. 

Murphy pushes the tarp aside and walks out into the crisp morning air to find a Grounder eyeing him menacingly. He tries to walk past him, not in the mood for a fight but they kept blocking his exit at every angle. 

"What's your problem?" He snaps, annoyed. 

"You." The Grounder growls out, looking down at Murphy. 

Murphy half smiles as he attempts to walk past him again which they allow but as Murphy passes by him, he says

"You should've burned like your friend."

And that's when he lost it. He turns around swinging and connects with the Grounder's jaw, momentarily shocking him but he recovers quickly. He's on Murphy in a heartbeat and he curses himself for leaving camp without some sort of weapon. However he has little time to think about it because he's soon on the ground with the Grounder on top of him with a knife drawn, ready to kill him. 

Murphy closes his eyes and waits. He hears them laugh and when he feels their weight shift slightly, getting ready to bring the knife down into him, Murphy makes his move. He quickly rolls his hips, knocking them off him in surprise. He takes the second or two he's bought himself to grab a weapon before he's speared to the ground. The force of the hit as they collide with the ground is enough to knock not only the wind out of him but the weapon as well. 

The Grounder mounts him and proceeds to strangle Murphy who struggles for any kind of relief but has no luck. He manages to grab something and beats them in the head with it several times but as his vision starts to blur, he knows he's not hitting him very hard.

Suddenly he can breath and as he chokes on the air entering his lungs, he looks up to see the Grounder that him and Finn had talked to at the village Finn massacred. 

"You need to leave." He yells at Murphy. 

"What the hell do you think I was trying to do before this asshole cornered me?" Murphy snaps back. 

"I remember you. I know you tried to stop your friend which is the only reason I'm helping you now so I suggest you leave before I change my mind and let him kill you."

"Whatever." Murphy replies as he heads back to camp, bleeding, beaten and sore. 

Just as Lincoln and Monroe were about to leave to look for Murphy, he comes sauntering through the gate, beaten and bloody.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy returns and he's still pissed at Bellamy.

Murphy can almost see the relief wash over Monroe's face as he enters camp which quickly turns to concern when she sees his face. He knows he's probably gonna get another right hook for causing her to worry but he hoped she'd wait until he healed a little. When he sees Bellamy just standing there watching him he can't help but be happy with the look on his face and take some pride in the fact that Bellamy worried about his absence like he did Octavia's but he was still pissed he'd kissed Clarke. 

Murphy walks past Bellamy as if he's invisible and when he grabs Murphy's arm, he shrugs it off angrily and continues into medical. Bellamy follows, more pissed than concerned and sits beside him on a bed as Murphy waits to be checked out. Abby comes in and immediately gets to work on Murphy's hands while Bellamy tires to have a conversation with him. 

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Just another person trying to kill me and thinking that I should've burned with Finn. Why do you care?" Murphy responds, not even looking at Bellamy as he spoke. 

"C'mon Murphy, you know that's not fair. You know I care."

"Bullshit! I'm still you're dirty little secret and you could give a shit less whether I live or die!" He shouts as he waves Abby away. 

"That's not true and you know it."

"Whatever you say, my king." 

He gets up and leaves medical with Bellamy following along behind, screaming his name as Murphy continues ignoring him. As Bellamy gets louder, a crowd begins to gather and Bellamy's anger gets the best of him causing him to throw something at Murphy. Murphy wheels around and gets right in Bellamy's face as the crowd closes in around them.

"You're lucky you're already injured otherwise you'd be on the ground."

"Never stopped you before so why is it now? You like the wounded remember? It makes you feel strong when they're already weak like you're in control and makes them easier to kill."

Murphy's anger gets the best of him making him able to see nothing but red and causing him to momentarily blackout like he had after his hanging when he demanded Charlotte's life. He suddenly pulls a knife out of his pocket and holds it up to Bellamy's neck causing Bellamy to lift his head up some so that the knife isn't pressing into his skin. 

Simultaneously Octavia and Monroe yell Murphy's name at the gesture but Bellamy never moves or takes his eyes off Murphy's and Murphy does the same. 


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy is no longer afraid and Clarke finally learns the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter so enjoy.

Murphy is so angry that he can barely hold the knife and his nails are digging into the palm of his other hand to the point where it's bleeding. 

"I hate you. I fucking hate you so much Bellamy Blake!" 

The tremble in his voice as he speaks doesn't go unnoticed by either of them but neither are sure if it's from anger or something else. 

"You don't hate me, Murphy. If you did, I'd already be dead and we both know it."

Murphy could hear the fear in Bellamy's voice knowing he wasn't confident that Murphy wouldn't kill him but it never showed on his face. In truth Murphy wasn't even sure he wouldn't kill him. Murphy becomes vaguely aware of the crowd when he hears a collective gasp as he presses the knife harder into Bellamy's neck and breaks the skin. 

Bellamy still doesn't flinch and his eyes remain locked with Murphy's as a trickle of blood runs down his neck. Murphy slowly lowers the knife and whispers so only Bellamy can hear him

"You can't keep doing this to me. You can't keep... You're either all in or I'm walking away and we're done."

He turns to leave only to be grabbed by Bellamy who spins him around to face him and kisses him, in front of everyone. As a low murmur radiates through the crowd, Murphy wraps his arms around Bellamy's neck and waist and both deepen the kiss, forgetting about their injuries and the crowd. When they finally break for air, they place their foreheads against each other's and Bellamy says

"I'm all in John, I always was."

"I still fucking hate you and don't call me John."

"I know but it's okay, John cuz I think I'm in love with you."

"You realize practicality the whole camp now knows everything, right?"

"I know but I'm not afraid anymore and are you really just gonna dismiss the fact that I basically just told you that I love you?"

"I guess almost dying has a way of doing that to someone and I'm not dismissing it, I just wanted to hear you say it again."

"Well in that case, I love you John Murphy."

"Do you now? Well that's good cuz I love you Bellamy Blake."

They both smile as they kiss again and the crowd disperses, leaving a smiling Monroe and Octavia and a very confused Clarke. Octavia and Bellamy share a knowing look as she leaves with Lincoln while Murphy heads back to medical with Monroe and Bellamy is left to explain things to Clarke. 

"So it was Murphy this whole time? He was the person you were trying to... Why didn't you tell me?" Clarke said, seeming more annoyed than mad. 

"I didn't know how. Honestly until the cave, I was in denial about my feelings as well as ashamed of them and I had no idea you felt that way about me. If I had known I would've said something sooner. I never meant to hurt you and if you hate me I'll..."

"I don't hate you Bellamy. I'm a lIttle upset that I kissed you before you told me but I don't hate you. Murphy is gonna take some getting used to and I guess I'll have to get to know him better now cuz it's obvious the two of you care for each other."

"So you aren't...You don't...Would you really try and get to know him for me?"

"That's what friends do, right? Besides you can't help who you fall in love with and he makes you happy, surprisingly, so I'm okay with it."

"Thanks Clarke." Bellamy says as he hugs Clarke.

"Yeah yeah. Get your ass to medical so to can be with your boy."

Clarke watches as Bellamy jogs into medical and smiles because as she looks back on everything that had happened, all the signs were there but she chose to ignore them. Then she remembered she'd agreed to get to know Murphy, Murphy of all people. Why did it have to be Murphy? She hoped they didn't wind up killing each other cuz she knew it wasn't gonna be easy, for either one of them but it was for Bellamy and both of them would do anything for their rebel leader. 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented on and left kudos for this story, I appreciate it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed and please leave comments whether you liked or think it sucks, all are welcome.


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